Boys bully a 68 year old bus monitor

[dez_for_prez]

Anyone that has raised a half decent child feels that their way is the best way and can't seem to see the other POV.

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

so others who do are failures? I'm sure many people here whose parents did use spankings will be glad to know you think they are failures since you are the expert in how a child should be raised.

that view is not that much different from you probably thinking me and others who don't are bad parents.

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

Heck of a job you're doing with that kid. You deserve some sort of award. Give me a minute and I will think of one.

If I was a disrespectful little punk, my grandmother would have slap the crap out of me.

I love how you cut off the end of the quote where I say he is made to apologize.

His grandmother is his daycare 4 days a week. They are as close as any grandmother-grandson can be, so you know what you can do with your opinon.

 

[AbeBeta]

That is why most aspects of modern psychology make little sense to non-Westerners as well as Westerners of an earlier generation. Most societies do not or didn't, as the case maybe, excuse or accept many bad behaviors as a result of lasting effects of what happened when you were 5 years old (within reason of course). At some point, you are/were expected to take responsibility for your own actions.

Modern Psychology? I think you are confused about what modern psychology is and is not.

Modern psychology is primarily neuroscience focused - that is, it focuses on physiological changes in the brain. A good primer (with multiple citations to the primary work) is here : http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/long_term_consequences.cfm

So tell, me. Does this mean that non-Western people have different physiology?

 

[WV Cowboy]

If someone raised their kids without a spanking, that's good, .. it is.

But for that person to criticize those that have spanked is ridiculous.

My dad raised three boys, and my sister. I don't ever remember her getting spanked but she was special, she really was/is. But I know he spanked me, with his open hand, one swat. Not with a belt or paddle, never more than once, but he could lift your heels off the ground. He got the boys' attention for sure.

He probably got me less than 10 times, mostly for doing something that may have disrespected my mother in some way, or for in some way acting a fool.

I raised both of my boys the same way.

But all four of my fathers children are married to their original spouse, have college degrees, have never been unemployed, never been arrested, are wonderful spouses and parents, and have each raised two children, each of who are college graduates, good spouses and parents, etc.

Both of my boys are rock solid men, I could not be prouder of the men they have become. My youngest is not married, but my oldest is a wonderful husband and a tremendous Dad.

I will go out on a limb and say spanking is not a bad thing.

 

[AbeBeta]

If someone raised their kids without a spanking, that's good, .. it is.

But for that person to criticize those that have spanked is ridiculous.

I will absolutely criticize someone for spanking - particularly if it is a 3 year old getting hit. 3 year olds are generally not capable of anything but self-centered thought -- that's part of their development. If you were to hit a three year old for being "disrespectful" they would have no idea why they were getting hit. If you are asking them to behave in a more respectful manner at that point, it is not reasonable. They don't understand that and don't have the brain development to do so.

We also can quibble about how much and when, etc. But one thing is certain -- a child who is spanked is much more likely to suffer escalating forms of physical punishment than one who is not spanked. Doesn't always go that way but it is certainly a slippery slope that can lead to abuse.

But WV, let me ask, it is reasonable then for others to characterize non-spankers as they have been in this thread? You are pretty much the only person who spanks that shows any respect for other parenting styles.

 

[ethiostar]

Modern Psychology? I think you are confused about what modern psychology is and is not.

Modern psychology is primarily neuroscience focused - that is, it focuses on physiological changes in the brain. A good primer (with multiple citations to the primary work) is here : http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/long_term_consequences.cfm

So tell, me. Does this mean that non-Western people have different physiology?

Maybe the use of the word 'modern' left room for a debate over semantics and definitions rather than focusing on what i was trying to convey. However, you could have discerned that from everything else I said in that post.

To answer your question, yes culture has an impact on psychological processes.

There are departments in some respected universities around the world that devote considerable amounts of resources toward that very topic. Feel free to checkout the links below and look at some of the publications they have.

http://culturalneuro.psych.northwestern.edu/Lab_Website/Welcome.html

http://culturalneuroscience.isr.umich.edu/home.htm

 

[AbeBeta]

Maybe the use of the word 'modern' left room for a debate over semantics and definitions rather than focusing on what i was trying to convey. However, you could have discerned that from everything else I said in that post.

To answer your question, yes culture has an impact on psychological processes.

There are departments in some respected universities around the world that devote considerable amounts of resources toward that very topic. Feel free to checkout the links below and look at some of the publications they have.

http://culturalneuro.psych.northwestern.edu/Lab_Website/Welcome.html

http://culturalneuroscience.isr.umich.edu/home.htm

Culture does have an impact on neurological issues -- that doesn't mean that the impacts of early experiences are any different on the brain across cultures. Coming from a culture that places values on the individual rather than the collective, may affect development of the brain associated with decision making and perception of others. But the idea that the physical violence -- neurological development link is any different for kids from different cultures is a reach. That's straight physical to physiological, doubtful that where you experience the abuse makes a difference

 

[ethiostar]

Culture does have an impact on neurological issues -- that doesn't mean that the impacts of early experiences are any different on the brain across cultures

It sure does. How your brain interprets those experiences and the kinds of meanings that is attached to them is shaped by culture.

 

[AbeBeta]

It sure does. How your brain interprets those experiences and the kinds of meanings that is attached to them is shaped by culture.

Highly doubtful that your brain differently interprets physical stimuli based on culture. Your argument might hold water if you were talking verbal abuse. But your argument is like saying in some cultures falling out a tree on your arm will break it but in others it will not.

 

[ethiostar]

Culture does have an impact on neurological issues -- that doesn't mean that the impacts of early experiences are any different on the brain across cultures. Coming from a culture that places values on the individual rather than the collective, may affect development of the brain associated with decision making and perception of others. But the idea that the physical violence -- neurological development link is any different for kids from different cultures is a reach. That's straight physical to physiological, doubtful that where you experience the abuse makes a difference

I see that you expanded on your earlier post.

Whether or not you interpret an open hand smack on the bootie every now and then as physical violence and abuse rather than an acceptable parental disciplinary measure is definitely shaped by societal influences, in other words, culture.

That's why in my earlier post I included Westerners from an older generation, say 50 or 60 years ago. For them a smack in the butt was not considered physical violence and abuse. Society didn't define it that way back then. Your definition is a much recent one.

 

[ethiostar]

Highly doubtful that your brain differently interprets physical stimuli based on culture. Your argument might hold water if you were talking verbal abuse. But your argument is like saying in some cultures falling out a tree on your arm will break it but in others it will not.

See my most recent post.

 

[Passepartout]

She does not want those boys and their families in trouble. As that takes a lot of guts to do that! As they have been getting death threats and all of that. The boys and their families have since said sorry. Great lady she seems!

 

[WV Cowboy]

I will absolutely criticize someone for spanking - particularly if it is a 3 year old getting hit. 3 year olds are generally not capable of anything but self-centered thought -- that's part of their development. If you were to hit a three year old for being "disrespectful" they would have no idea why they were getting hit. If you are asking them to behave in a more respectful manner at that point, it is not reasonable. They don't understand that and don't have the brain development to do so.

I didn't read every thread I guess, so I'm not sure why you chose 3 yrs old since I didn't reference that age. I would agree, 3 is too young. But each kid is different. If I sensed a willful disobdience, meaning they were purposely doing something they knew I did not approve of, I would let them know it was not acceptable.

I might give a little knock with a knuckle one time on top of the head to get their attention, or a little flip on the back of the earlob, ... sometimes I might squeeze the shoulder muscle between the neck and shoulder. Nothing rough or more than once, but just to get their attention.

We also can quibble about how much and when, etc. But one thing is certain -- a child who is spanked is much more likely to suffer escalating forms of physical punishment than one who is not spanked.

That is a stretch, .. I gave you many examples of what my father did and what I did and it never escalated, ever.

On the other side of that coin, I could even see a person who was not spanking, (because society says not to), but secretly wished they could at times, lose patience and lash out when a child pushed their patience.

But WV, let me ask, it is reasonable then for others to characterize non-spankers as they have been in this thread? You are pretty much the only person who spanks that shows any respect for other parenting styles.

I won't tell anyone how to parent, but I think most boys need correction. I had two brothers, two sons, and have coached hundreds of other boys.

I was very ornary growing up, I got paddled in school every year except 5th grade. (in love with my teacher) I got paddled and was still ornary, .. I can't imagine what I might have turned out like had I known they would not or could not touch me.

 

[Chocolate Lab]

Funny to read the arguments about parents not speaking their kids... I, like many others, got spanked not only at home, but at school.

And of course it was a million miles from abuse. Why do you think the butt is the chosen spot to spank kids? Because it doesn't do any damage there.

I'm sure many others also shared the experience I did of my tiny little mother spanking me way harder than my big, strong dad. :laugh2:

 

[xwalker]

I drove a school bus for 2 years. I started when I was only 18. It was the worst job ever.

The school or bus company share part of the blame. This lady was not prepared to handle rowdy kids. You have to be able to maintain control in this environment or you put everybody at risk.

I didn't have a monitor when I drove. I had to maintain order myself and some of the kids were only a year or 2 younger than me. I had to use intimidation to keep order. The older kids would have done terrible things to the younger kids if you let them get out of control.

 

[Kingsmith88]

She does not want those boys and their families in trouble. As that takes a lot of guts to do that! As they have been getting death threats and all of that. The boys and their families have since said sorry. Great lady she seems!

The people that sent death threats aren't any better then those kids. In fact they are worse.

 

[YosemiteSam]

I read somewhere today that the donations to that lady have reached $600k!

That is a nice little payday. Especially since they said her annual salary was $15k! :laugh2:

It will be 100% tax free too. That type of income isn't taxable from what I read.

 

[TellerMorrow34]

Why do I get the feeling that you really don't see anything wrong with the way the bus monitor was treated, that the only thing you look down on was the fact that some "rat" (your words,not mine) videotaped it?

If you've read any of his post history you know that what you're feeling is a fact.

Being cautious of strangers and being disrespectful to elders are two different things.

It's not surprising that this particular poster doesn't understand that.




If I'd acted like that toward anyone when I was a kid my mother and father would have beaten my *** like I deserved.


I was never disrespectful like that to people when I was growing up and *GASP* I never had trouble making friends or having people like me.


Funny how not being a giant ******bag works that way.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Imagine, .. if kids these days are bold enough to bully adults, .. what do they do to kids their own age or younger.