Facebook Parenting: For the Troubled Teen

[jwitten82]

It will turn political if I answer and it isn't allowed on this forum. I think everyone knows what I am talking about when I say Junk Science.

Send me a pm

 

[Cajuncowboy]

I have a 15 year old daughter. When I get home from the office I am going to have a conversation with her about this. I am now real interested in what she has to say about it. At least from a 15 YOs perspective.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

Send me a pm

Sent.

 

[Hoofbite]

No! You don't compromise on right and wrong. This isn't about something that is innocuous like spending too much time on the computer. This is outright, blatant disrespect and disobedience.

No, you do not compromise your values. There are some real truths in this world and if you teach them to compromise in one area, they will end up doing that in others. And that is where they get into trouble.

Example.

Value-Don't do drugs. Compromise-Only do pot since it's less dangerous than Beer.

Value- Only do pot. Compromise- Only do pot at home so you don't get into trouble.

Value- Only do pot at home. Compromise-Since you are home, you can do drugs.

Value-you can do drugs at home. Compromise- You can do drugs at a friend's home.

Value- You can do drugs at a friend's home. Compromise- Since you can do friends at a friends home, you can do a little harder drug than pot.

It's just better to not compromise to start with.

This is the absolute most insane rationale I have ever seen.

You can't think of any other compromises that may benefit a parent/child relationship?

Oh, quick question to. You don't think that people are born with individual temperaments and such? Is that what I caught earlier when?

 

[vta]

 

[rkell87]

btw the responses to this video by my 20 something year old friends are overwhelmingly positive. I mention that they are in their 20's to show that it was 10 years ago or less that they were teenagers but also that a lot of them are now parents themselves and have a perspective from both ends.

basically people do not know the whole story or situation, all we know is what was in the FB post and what the fathers response was. We don't know if the teen is always back talking or if the parent really treats her like a personal go-fer.

we do know, however, they have a maid and (what might be the most telling thing) that her parents are not together anymore. What this will do to their relationship I have no clue, it depends on how common this type of reaction is but I do believe this will have the desired effect the father intended which is to not badmouth them on a public forum and for her to get a job because he is making her pay for a new laptop which I'm sure she is going to want.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

This is the absolute most insane rationale I have ever seen.

You can't think of any other compromises that may benefit a parent/child relationship?

Oh, quick question to. You don't think that people are born with individual temperaments and such? Is that what I caught earlier when?

You asked about compromising in relationship to THIS story. And no, you don't compromise on disobedience. That is what is insane.

You can certainly compromise on things like curfew, allowance, chores, etc. But not when it comes to values.

I didn't say people weren't born with certain temperaments. I said they can change.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

btw the responses to this video by my 20 something year old friends are overwhelmingly positive. I mention that they are in their 20's to show that it was 10 years ago or less that they were teenagers but also that a lot of them are now parents themselves and have a perspective from both ends.

basically people do not know the whole story or situation, all we know is what was in the FB post and what the fathers response was. We don't know if the teen is always back talking or if the parent really treats her like a personal go-fer.

we do know, however, they have a maid and (what might be the most telling thing) that her parents are not together anymore. What this will do to their relationship I have no clue, it depends on how common this type of reaction is but I do believe this will have the desired effect the father intended which is to not badmouth them on a public forum and for her to get a job because he is making her pay for a new laptop which I'm sure she is going to want.

I'm curious, how do we know her mom and dad aren't together? Also, do we know if they split or did she pass away? Just asking because I don't know the answers.

 

[rkell87]

I'm curious, how do we know her mom and dad aren't together? Also, do we know if they split or did she pass away? Just asking because I don't know the answers.

in the video the father mentions that she was disrespectful to either her step father or mother, can't remember which. didn't sound like anyone passed away

 

[Cajuncowboy]

in the video the father mentions that she was disrespectful to either her step father or mother, can't remember which. didn't sound like anyone passed away

I missed that part. I will go back and listen.

 

[Yakuza Rich]

I think it sets a bad precendent that the father made the video. Obviously he doesn't like the fact that his daughter was airing dirty laundry on Facebook and that's perfectly understandable. But, 2 wrongs don't make a right. Simply cancel her Facebook account and her access to Facebook and the message is made to her friends. Now the entire world gets a hold of this nonsense.

I haven't heard the entire video, but it seems like the girl is upset for having to do chores and not getting an allowance for that. I think the girl does have a legitimate gripe, although I think she should be punished for airing dirty laundry on Facebook so she can learn how to properly deal with family conflicts.

But, the dad shows where she got this behavior from. Unfortunately, I think that will completely fly over his head.







YR

 

[bbgun]

Even assuming that the kid's a bit of a spoiled brat, this smacks of revenge more than parenting. Seems to me he could have confiscated the laptop without publicly embarrassing her.

 

[YosemiteSam]

Oh, quick question to. You don't think that people are born with individual temperaments and such? Is that what I caught earlier when?

Yes, but I'm not talking about "hot headedness" and that type of temperaments. I'm talking about Personality Type temperaments.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

I think it sets a bad precendent that the father made the video. Obviously he doesn't like the fact that his daughter was airing dirty laundry on Facebook and that's perfectly understandable. But, 2 wrongs don't make a right. Simply cancel her Facebook account and her access to Facebook and the message is made to her friends. Now the entire world gets a hold of this nonsense.

I haven't heard the entire video, but it seems like the girl is upset for having to do chores and not getting an allowance for that. I think the girl does have a legitimate gripe, although I think she should be punished for airing dirty laundry on Facebook so she can learn how to properly deal with family conflicts.

But, the dad shows where she got this behavior from. Unfortunately, I think that will completely fly over his head.







YR

What possible legitimate gripe could she have based on what was in the post the father read? That she has chores to do? For God's sake he gives her a laptop and spends money on upgrading it. Let's not make him out to be a monster who abuses his kid. It seems that he provides quite well for her.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

in the video the father mentions that she was disrespectful to either her step father or mother, can't remember which. didn't sound like anyone passed away

I just watched it again. You are right. He did mention she was disrespectful to not only him but her mother AND step mother. So this is obviously a real problem with this kid. And there seems to be quite a long history as well. Further he said he told her before that if she did it again he would put a bullet in her laptop.

I guess she got taught another lesson as well. Her parents aren't going to lie. He did it. Good for him.

 

[ScipioCowboy]

Next thing you know, this guy will be making videos in which he's comparing Steve Jobs to Hitler and microwaving iPhones.

Sorry. Couldn't help it...

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

I would never want my son to be afraid of me. If your child is afraid of you, you have failed as a parent.

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

Even assuming that the kid's a bit of a spoiled brat, this smacks of revenge more than parenting. Seems to me he could have confiscated the laptop without publicly embarrassing her.

I agree with you.

 

[Cajuncowboy]

I would never want my son to be afraid of me. If your child is afraid of you, you have failed as a parent.

You seriously think that's the kind of fer people are talking about? There is a good kind of fear. The fear that the parent will actually carry out a punishment. The fear that when you do something wrong, you will be held accountable. That's the kind of fear people are talking about. Not being afraid to be around the parent because you may be abused. Geez!

 

[Dawgs0916]

I can't link to it for language related reasons, but if you do a search on YouTube using this thread's title it'll pop up.

Hannah, in my opinion, was a brat who just entered the world of where actions have consequences. Hopefully she'll be aching to get a job so she can get out of the house.

Others will assuredly disagree with the father's way of reaching his daughter, but he sure has her attention now.

Salt, you don't suscribe to RedRaidersports.com do you? lol