The first time I saw my wife, I would've married her on sight, THAT DAY!!
Because even if we got divorced a week later, I would've had the pictures to prove "LOOK WHAT I MARRIED" at least once in my life!!!
That's shallow, but the God's honest truth.
One of the basic tenants as to WHEN to pull the trigger is as follows........
You marry a person when you know that, IF THEY NEVER CHANGE ONE BIT, you could live with THAT PERSON the rest of your life.
To often, people marry someone with the expectations and a program for them to change for the better as time goes on. In other words, their not fully sold on the product, but they get married anyway because SOME DAY, he/she will mature into what they really want them to be. DON'T DO THAT! Not to yourself and certainly not to the other person. It is patently unfair and maybe even underhanded to marry someone, only to THEN have a list of things you want them to BECOME.
Honestly, women do this to men a lot more than men do this to women. Men are simple creatures when it comes to marriage. They're just tickled to death to have the little lady at home and to be with someone who puts up with us. When this problem occurs, it's usually the gal. They marry the guy even though he still has a few rough edges she doesn't like (as all men do), and then set about on a program to make him into the Ken Doll that she REALLY wants. I've seen this a hundred times. You've never seen a guy who's constantly harping on his woman to change this or change that, stop this or stop that, picking her apart all the time for every little imperfection. This is territory staked out by the wives only.
Men can bring a lot of problems into a marriage, but this isn't one of them.
The thing to remember in any good relationship or marriage, or about deciding WHEN to pull the trigger is the Big Three: Sex, Finances and Communication.
This is not an opinion or personal experience. This is true in EVERY case. All three have to be in really great shape or your going to have a problem. If you have good sex and can talk, but have no money, it's gonna' put pressure on the deal. If you got money and have good sex, but can't talk to one another in a respectful and mature way, your crusin' for a brusin'. If you can talk and you got your finances right, but not going about the bedroom-business, it's gonna' lead to trouble. Sex, Finances and Communication.......if you got that going good, it's a pretty good barometer that she's the gal for you.
Finally, getting married will only intensify what your already in. In other words, if things are good between you two, marriage will make it better. If your prone to bickering and arguing or in a power-struggle with your mate, getting married will make it ten times worse than it is now. The reason for this is, before your married, your not "stuck". If there is "the real thing" going on between you two, then getting married will only improve all that love and sweetness and caring. The legal and binding commitment of a marraige will make a good thing even better. It finalizes (supposedly) all that good stuff between you and settles the issue. If things aren't right between you, and you walk down the alter and put the rings on, the usual first thought is "why the hell did I just do that?" Now, when the usual argument or fighting begins, you just can't pack a bag and dig-out. Now, it's a longer and drawn out program to dismiss yourself from an unpleasant relationship. Getting married will further propogate and pour gasoline on to whatever the existing fire is.
