Men are stupid and women are crazy

[Tabascocat]

You just can't win. There's got to be a way to figure out in advance if she's the type who will bail at the first sign of trouble or if she's a stand-by-your-man type. Really important to know somehow.

That is easy to figure out as long as you don't rush the marriage. I think any relationship should be 5+ years before getting hitched. It takes awhile to really know the other person and a year or two is not enough.

 

[Runwildboys]

I don't follow you. Do you mean if it would be worth getting in a fight over her?

No, I mean is she worth possibly losing your mind and half your stuff?

 

[Runwildboys]

That is easy to figure out as long as you don't rush the marriage. I think any relationship should be 5+ years before getting hitched. It takes awhile to really know the other person and a year or two is not enough.

Yep. I was with my wife for 5 years before we got married, We got divorced 5 years later, but she didn't try to take the house, the dog, my truck, or alimony. We only used one lawyer, for the paperwork.

 

[Reverend Conehead]

No, I mean is she worth possibly losing your mind and half your stuff?

gotcha. There's always a big risk. Tough call whether it's worth it.

 

[RodeoJake]

If getting serious about a woman with children, pay attention to their behavior. Remember, if they're a problem for her, they'll be a problem for you too.

 

[CouchCoach]

It's the great mystery and women I have found, much more than men, go through changes, constantly, throughout their lives. And not just that warning track one, menopause. Aptly named as all men should pause before proceeding with anything other than a day at the spa, best day you'll ever have once the "change of life" begins. Also aptly named because it ain't just changing hers.

I find women fascinating and since I filter through emotion as many of them do, I connect easier with them. I live in a retirement area and have discovered that women age better than men do. I mean their disposition. Men struggle with all of the unrealized expectations when they were young men, all the things they would do and all the woman has to be regretful about is the bozo she married. Women smile more freely and are more open than men, especially as they age.

Lost my wife almost 8 years ago and she wasn't crazy, she just got bent when her emotional needs weren't being met by me. Men are simple most of the time and navigating the mind of a woman when she is unhappy can be a complex and daunting journey. I'll tell ya what I learned that made me a better husband and friend. I was not the fixer or the root of the problem most of the time, all things did not flow through me. It was my job to listen and be on her side, even if I felt she might be wrong. In her corner, right or wrong.

I tell you honestly, my biggest regret in life is how late I learned how to be a good husband and how much time I wasted in not being the one thing she needed most of the time, a non judgmental friend on her side.

I married young, 20, and she was a beautiful woman and it was infatuation and lust as much as love. Then, along the way I began to fall in love with her and she was my lifeline and finally, the real magic happened, we became best friends. Having your woman as your best friend is truly the magic. And I miss that more than anything.

 

[lukin2006]

In Canada, what I have been told never marry someone with children. If the marriage goes south you could end up with child support payments for non-biological kids.

 

[Runwildboys]

In Canada, what I have been told never marry someone with children. If the marriage goes south you could end up with child support payments for non-biological kids.

I'd talk to a lawyer before believing that.

 

[CouchCoach]

In Canada, what I have been told never marry someone with children. If the marriage goes south you could end up with child support payments for non-biological kids.

In some agreements, the child support payments stop when a woman remarries but I believe the new husband has to adopt the children and therefore becomes their legal guardian. So, he would be responsible should that marriage go south.

There are so many deadbeats that shirk their responsibilities, the courts have to attempt to protect the children.

 

[lukin2006]

I'd talk to a lawyer before believing that.

It co-worker consulted a lawyer before he proposed, the lawyer said it is possible...at the very least she could take you to court and let a judge decide...he broke up with her...its just hearsay, but I think its something to consider.

 

[lukin2006]

In some agreements, the child support payments stop when a woman remarries but I believe the new husband has to adopt the children and therefore becomes their legal guardian. So, he would be responsible should that marriage go south.

There are so many deadbeats that shirk their responsibilities, the courts have to attempt to protect the children.

I agree the courts have to protect the children.

 

[Xelda]

I don't believe most men are stupid, they are just poor communicators. Most women aren't crazy either, there is this horrible condition thrust upon us via hormones that fluctuate constantly. It's not comfortable to have your body constantly reboot it's self. With that in mind, we are still wired differently and it's complexity is beyond us. Some suffer more and others suffer less. It's just a fact of life.

So what’s the key to ying and yang relationaships? I’m too old to deal with the drama. In my experience, you don’t get the drama until it’s too late. What are some red flags from both men and women’s perspectives?

Does she have some particularly annoying habits or criticize you about certain things? That becomes magnified in marriage. Does she understand that you were in a relationship with the Dallas Cowboys before you met her and refuse to miss games just because her family wants a nice quiet dinner that interferes with the schedule? Get it in writing, get a nice frame and give it to her family after the wedding.

 

[lukin2006]

No, I mean is she worth possibly losing your mind and half your stuff?

This is why I will never get in a relationship again. It's the losing my mind is the worst.

 

[lukin2006]

I'd talk to a lawyer before believing that.

I'm 52 so if I ever met someone with young kids, she'd likely be much younger than me...

 

[DallasEast]

So what’s the key to ying and yang relationaships? I’m too old to deal with the drama. In my experience, you don’t get the drama until it’s too late. What are some red flags from both men and women’s perspectives?

Male red flag:

She says she is right about something, you disagree and she says out loud that you are right and she is wrong.

Moral: Women are always right.

 

[Runwildboys]

Male red flag:

She says she is right about something, you disagree and she says out loud that you are right and she is wrong.

Moral: Women are always right.

That's not true....Ow!...OW...OWWW!!!

 

[kskboys]

I think the key is for each to be able to compromise. Love isn't enough. We all have our preferences on how things are dealt with and you have to learn to give-and-take in how those things are handled. What is show stopper, what is something you're willing to change for her, what is something she's willing to change for you?

An example for me is that she knows I'm watching every Cowboys game. I'll let her know when the game is going to be and she knows every honey-do, errand, dinner date, etc has to be scheduled around that Cowboys game and she accepts that. Likewise, I know she's going to get her nails and eye brows done every 2 weeks.

I know I have to put my clothes right side out and in the laundry basket so she doesn't have to flip them while doing laundry or she's gonna get pissed. She knows she needs to put her damn mail out of site because I don't want to see opened envelopes on the counter top.

I know I can't take her to eat at Olive Garden, under any circumstance. She knows I won't ever eat a Papa John's pizza.

I pick up the dog crap in the yard and she cleans the kitty litter.

Compromise.

Nice.

That's exactly what marriage is all about. Compromise.

Consideration is my word for marriage. Simply consider each other in all aspects of life.

 

[kskboys]

You just can't win. There's got to be a way to figure out in advance if she's the type who will bail at the first sign of trouble or if she's a stand-by-your-man type. Really important to know somehow.

Learning how to look for "relationship" type women. Only way.

 

[DallasEast]

That's not true....Ow!...OW...OWWW!!!

See? My bruises healed up a LONG time ago. Understanding the moral is the first step.

 

[kskboys]

From what I've seen, most marriages don't work simply because people want to go out and do what they want to do regardless. Lack of consideration.