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CouchCoach

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For years I have believed the most boring job in America has to be a TV weatherman if you live in Texas. From about May 15-Mid October the forecast is exactly the same every day- “Hot as hell.”

If I was a TV weatherman in Dallas, I would have some kind of joke rotation going each day for the forecast just to break up the hellish monotony.
I would dress as a penguin and call myself Popsicle Pete.

Or I might consider being Charlie the Weather Chimp, the Primate with the Climate.

Who am I kidding? I already do this and don’t even have a job.
 

Runwildboys

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For years I have believed the most boring job in America has to be a TV weatherman if you live in Texas. From about May 15-Mid October the forecast is exactly the same every day- “Hot as hell.”

If I was a TV weatherman in Dallas, I would have some kind of joke rotation going each day for the forecast just to break up the hellish monotony.
How about playing 100 bottles of beer on the wall, and you get to drink one every time the temperature goes above 100°?
 

CouchCoach

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Morning Pops and Happy Saturday to one and all and yes, you are the one, everybody else is just all.

Going to be 104-105 today and tomorrow and I am trying to think of what to do except complain.

It gets this hot, not only does back sweat show up but butt sweat as well. I felt like Nate Newton used to look yesterday and Gurode had that going on as well. I am surprised Madden never brought that up because I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. It's 30 degrees where they're playing and he has butt sweat before kickoff. What the hell has he been up to?

If I played QB and had a Center with that problem, I would demand more guaranteed money or ask that he get a Depends endorsement.

Enjoy your weekend and keep a dry butt.
 
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Montanalo

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Going to be 104-105 today and tomorrow and I am trying to think of what to do except complain.

This one sentence explains why I didn't retire in Texas despite being born there, attending Texas A&M and still having an an abundance of family there.

BTW, I am wearing a light jacket at the moment as temperatures are in the high 40's.

On second thought, maybe it is the abundance of family that influenced my decision to retire elsewhere.

:lmao2:
 

Runwildboys

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This one sentence explains why I didn't retire in Texas despite being born there, attending Texas A&M and still having an an abundance of family there.

BTW, I am wearing a light jacket at the moment as temperatures are in the high 40's.

On second thought, maybe it is the abundance of family that influenced my decision to retire elsewhere.

:lmao2:
Clearly you're one apple that fell far from the tree :thumbup:
 

Xelda

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Morning Pops and Happy Saturday to one and all and yes, you are the one, everybody else is just all.

Going to be 104-105 today and tomorrow and I am trying to think of what to do except complain.

It gets this hot, not only does back sweat show up but butt sweat as well. I felt like Nate Newton used to look yesterday and Gurode had that going on as well. I am surprised Madden never brought that up because I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. It's 30 degrees where they're playing and he has butt sweat before kickoff. What the hell has he been up to?

If I played QB and had a Center with that problem, I would demand more guaranteed money or ask that he get a Depends endorsement.

Enjoy your weekend and keep a dry butt.
There you go again, talking all purty about Nate Newton. I remember John Madden circling their butts and he declared Derrik Kinard the King of Kiester's. It was a joyous time where silver and blue ruled on and off the big screen.
 

Xelda

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Not the biggest baby today:

I had to go to the doctor's office today. Primary care stuff. I had to give blood as well. No big deal for the average person, but your Xelda is not an average person. I walked into the torture chamber of doom to voluntarily depart with some blood for the sake of finding out just how naughty I've been. I've got my phone on mute in case they want to tell me. BUT the torture chamber was in rare form today.

I walked into blood curdling screams and loud sobs. Someone was sacrificing a child today. You could tell when he saw the needle and when he felt the needle. It was Celine Dion versus Muhammad Ali. My first instinct was to run like hell the other direction. That was my second and third instincts as well. The fourth was a perverted sense of amusement and I found myself laughing at the screams. This kid was impressive.

The screaming slowed and the crying picked up, but the screaming never completely left. After 20 minutes or a week, he walked out with his momma still protesting against the evils that had befallen him. He looked to be 3 years old and had gauze all over the place. He'd gotten a shot and had blood drawn. I believe he was thinking daddy is my favorite parent from now on.

Today no one would call me a big baby, they met my idol first.
 

CouchCoach

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I'm diabetic now, switched to whiskey and gin!!!
I am not from the "switch" school, more the "add" school.

Actually, I did some research, and got no extra credit from my docs, on which alcohols were the lowest in sugar. Let me preface with this I was just wondering if anyone had looked into it and lo and be glory and bless their little imbibing hearts, it seems the world has been keeping secrets from me.

First off, I was encouraged by the number of people that had been told to avoid sugar and alcohol has sugar but some more than others. And like me they decided OK, no more cake, candy, cookies, brownies and my poor wretched soul, no more pie. And I live close to The Bluebonnet Cafe, home of pies, they even have a Pie Happy Hour, the demonic tempters from hell. But alcohol, why the elevating elixir?

So, it seems the lighter the alcohol, the lower the sugar effect so gin, vodka and tequila made the cut. The darker caramel colored, particularly bourbon, the higher the sugar effect. Light beer and 4% hard seltzers are preferred. In wine, it is Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio in white and in red, Pinot Noir and Cab but make sure they're pretty dry.

I know sometimes I sound like a raving alcoholic, alright all the time, but I am not, I am alcohol dependent to get my mood right late in the day and especially lately when I feel the weight. I told my docs it lightens my load and better defines what's left of this quality of life. I do not overdo it and really haven't in over 11 years when I discovered the dark and deep places one can go with too much to drink when they feel they have reason to escape. Escaping does not always assure of us we go to a better place.
 

kskboys

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I am not from the "switch" school, more the "add" school.

Actually, I did some research, and got no extra credit from my docs, on which alcohols were the lowest in sugar. Let me preface with this I was just wondering if anyone had looked into it and lo and be glory and bless their little imbibing hearts, it seems the world has been keeping secrets from me.

First off, I was encouraged by the number of people that had been told to avoid sugar and alcohol has sugar but some more than others. And like me they decided OK, no more cake, candy, cookies, brownies and my poor wretched soul, no more pie. And I live close to The Bluebonnet Cafe, home of pies, they even have a Pie Happy Hour, the demonic tempters from hell. But alcohol, why the elevating elixir?

So, it seems the lighter the alcohol, the lower the sugar effect so gin, vodka and tequila made the cut. The darker caramel colored, particularly bourbon, the higher the sugar effect. Light beer and 4% hard seltzers are preferred. In wine, it is Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio in white and in red, Pinot Noir and Cab but make sure they're pretty dry.

I know sometimes I sound like a raving alcoholic, alright all the time, but I am not, I am alcohol dependent to get my mood right late in the day and especially lately when I feel the weight. I told my docs it lightens my load and better defines what's left of this quality of life. I do not overdo it and really haven't in over 11 years when I discovered the dark and deep places one can go with too much to drink when they feel they have reason to escape. Escaping does not always assure of us we go to a better place.
I was in complete shock when I found out about Erythritol, or alcohol sugar. This wonderful stuff goes right through your system, does not act like sugar at all!!!
 

CouchCoach

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I was in complete shock when I found out about Erythritol, or alcohol sugar. This wonderful stuff goes right through your system, does not act like sugar at all!!!
And the alcohol stays behind to provide comfort! Damn me, I LOVE science!!!!

Kevy, btw, in case you missed it, I one upped you on !'s. Punctuation is next to Godliness.
 
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