Separated/Divorce

Ranched

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lukin2006 said:
I agree. I just want her to deal with me fairly. I have been trying to get her to call me to discuss this house. She will not call.
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Let your attorney handle EVERYTHING. By you trying to call her gives her the inclination that you want to talk about saving the marriage. You need to completely realize that the marriage "is over" as you had stated. Therefore, stop trying to contact her.

That's what you have an attorney for. The attorney will handle what's fair etc....with your wife's attorney. Your wife was probably already advised by her attorney to stop all communication with you.
 
Xelda

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lukin2006 said:
I decided I'm going to sell the house...too many painful memories...I decided to move to this small town and rent an apartment. The lawyer I hired specializes in mediation...I'm hoping she can get an agreement quickly...with the proceeds from the house I am going to replace my aging vehicle with a Nissan Rogue (feel like spoiling myself), put some money away for a 2-3 week trip to the Canadian Rockies and Prince Rupert, BC...I have to get this house sold and into my own place. I do not want her to ever see the inside. The more I think about it...she played me like the biggest fool.
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lukin, you haven't been forgotten. Probably everyone here has had a bad experience in a relationship and they're generous in their heart felt comments. I'm proud of the rascals that fill CZ. I know what lies ahead and have a request. Do not agree to anything she asks for without consulting your attorney. Do not agree to finance her in any way going forward. She is the one that wanted out and she's going to have to pay for her mistakes. All part of growing up.

Next, take care of yourself and your dog. Do not punish yourself for her ignorance. It's ok to feel lonely at times. You can easily find ways to minimize that by seeing friends, family or visiting CZ and other interests you have. Being alone isn't always lonely. Don't jump into a rebound relationship, you will only transfer 25 years worth of feelings onto a new person. Take some time to breathe in the sweet air of freedom from the hell you've been through. A ton of bricks are about to come off your shoulders.

Lastly, please don't refer to yourself as a fool. You aren't the one throwing a 25 year marriage away. You are a freed prisoner of a bad marriage.
 
CouchCoach

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kskboys said:
More like 15!!!!!

I'm seeing young men going through this over and over w/ mid 20's women. They won't work, won't quit drugs/smoking while pregnant, and won't even clean house. I mean, for some reason, our society is raising a ton of useless people right now.
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Look at what our society values. They're all about the wrapping of the package instead of what's inside, style over substance. They live viciously through celebrity types and can't get through the day without their fix.

The Greatest Generation was that because of the simplicity of their lives, the objective was clear and the choices few. The next generation began to live with more choices and complexities and when faced with sacrifices became the "Me Generation".

What we are seeing are the dividends paid by selfishness and creating a world we think we can control. We are owned by technology we are not advanced enough to master.

Think about what would happen to this country if the internet went down, cell towers failed and we were all back in the 60's with rotary phones as our only method of communication. I believe suicide rates would soar. There would be crime waves all over this country.

All of these advancements are impressive and I love the technology as well as the next person but our technology is beyond us. We have not advanced as much as we'd like to think we have and the priorities of the past that created that Greatest Generation are gone. Back then, the #1 job was raising the children to be good, decent and responsible as the next group of adults to raise the next generation.

Teaching children how to parent used to be the job of every parent. Children grew up and stayed close to the family unit. Now they are all over the place and disconnected to the family unit and only connected through technology.

I watch a lot of the videos and wonder about that person taking it. Sometimes a person or animal is struggling and they'd rather take a video of that? Too many are watching life and not participating in it. Just the creation of that stupid word "selfie" sums up our society and that's not just on this generation of young people. That is on all of us.
 

kskboys

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daboyzruleperiod said:
Let your attorney handle EVERYTHING. By you trying to call her gives her the inclination that you want to talk about saving the marriage. You need to completely realize that the marriage "is over" as you had stated. Therefore, stop trying to contact her.

That's what you have an attorney for. The attorney will handle what's fair etc....with your wife's attorney. Your wife was probably already advised by her attorney to stop all communication with you.
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Oooohhh, now that is good advice. Instruct your attorney as to your wishes, and move on.
 

kskboys

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CouchCoach said:
Oh hell, he was just turning the corner. And now he has to consider the fact he's been reading advice from a fat cat with a beer in one hand and a remote in the other sitting alone on the couch as the poster child for bachelorhood.
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Plus a sheep lover, a stoner, a truck driver, and a hottie.
 

Ranched

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Xelda said:
lukin, you haven't been forgotten. Probably everyone here has had a bad experience in a relationship and they're generous in their heart felt comments. I'm proud of the rascals that fill CZ. I know what lies ahead and have a request. Do not agree to anything she asks for without consulting your attorney. Do not agree to finance her in any way going forward. She is the one that wanted out and she's going to have to pay for her mistakes. All part of growing up.

Next, take care of yourself and your dog. Do not punish yourself for her ignorance. It's ok to feel lonely at times. You can easily find ways to minimize that by seeing friends, family or visiting CZ and other interests you have. Being alone isn't always lonely. Don't jump into a rebound relationship, you will only transfer 25 years worth of feelings onto a new person. Take some time to breathe in the sweet air of freedom from the hell you've been through. A ton of bricks are about to come off your shoulders.

Lastly, please don't refer to yourself as a fool. You aren't the one throwing a 25 year marriage away. You are a freed prisoner of a bad marriage.
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Preach It X! Great post my friend. Lukin is a wonderful human being. I too know him outside of these boards. He his what he says. It hurts to see a friend hurting.

Thank you and everyone else who has given Lukin advice. He's so appreciative, especially that it's coming from his fellow Cowboys fans.:thumbup:
 
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CouchCoach

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Xelda said:
ksk is a barn yard kind of guy
Runny, I think you're the truck driver.
DABZ must be the hottie.
COACH! LAY THE WEED DOWN!!!!
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Hey stop yelling at me!! He wasn't talking about me, I already ranked myself as the drunk cat with the remote. I think he was referring to you as the stoner.
 
calico

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Xelda said:
lukin, you haven't been forgotten. Probably everyone here has had a bad experience in a relationship and they're generous in their heart felt comments. I'm proud of the rascals that fill CZ. I know what lies ahead and have a request. Do not agree to anything she asks for without consulting your attorney. Do not agree to finance her in any way going forward. She is the one that wanted out and she's going to have to pay for her mistakes. All part of growing up.

Next, take care of yourself and your dog. Do not punish yourself for her ignorance. It's ok to feel lonely at times. You can easily find ways to minimize that by seeing friends, family or visiting CZ and other interests you have. Being alone isn't always lonely. Don't jump into a rebound relationship, you will only transfer 25 years worth of feelings onto a new person. Take some time to breathe in the sweet air of freedom from the hell you've been through. A ton of bricks are about to come off your shoulders.

Lastly, please don't refer to yourself as a fool. You aren't the one throwing a 25 year marriage away. You are a freed prisoner of a bad marriage.
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this is an outstanding and thoughtful post. some of this applies to myself as well.
 
CouchCoach

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lukin, my man, thank you for bringing your personal life and struggle, for the second time since I've been here, to this forum. I like to come here and goof off and have some fun but then something like this comes up and the forum takes on a different light, a brighter light.

I saw something like this, but a much worse situation, on the old DC.com with one of my favorite posters, futurdoc, and the outpouring of genuine affection and caring just reassured me I was in a good place.

I hope that we have been helpful as we were not holding back on advice to a man we've never met and I would like to think that coming here and sharing your struggle helped you and gave you some comfort that some people you've never met care. Because I am glad you felt comfortable enough with us to share this.

On a personal note, I went through some really rough water and either kept that to myself or just left and I denied my forum friends the opportunity to comfort me when I really needed that as I was spiraling into a deep and dark hole. I also hope anyone else going through some rough water will feel comfortable enough to share that.

It is a sport site that some of us have turned into a community and that is the magic of it. Truly, the sum of the parts is so much greater than the whole.
 
RodeoJake

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The Fonz said:
I have never been married myself so it would be hard for me to feel what u are feeling but i would say No worries brother you have your life ahead of you just plan it differently.
Get yourself a sweet Filipina and you will feel like a king again.They are low maintenance.I know few people who did and they are having a great time.


filipino-dating-sites-cebu-women.jpg
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Where do you find them?
 
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