Separated/Divorce

[Xelda]

Update...It's been a very emotional afternoon. As I posted I made a consult with another law firm, only to find out my wife has retained them. They gave me a paper with 2 names circled of lawyers they recommend. I cried all the way home, my situation felt hopeless ... so I got home, was greeted by my dog Remi and I fed her. Made myself a CC and coke and called the first lawyer on the list ... he gave me a consult over the phone (he is in Tennessee on vacation) ... wow this is what a good lawyer is like ... he is not cheap ... but thinks we can get a higher percentage of the house and possibly recoup some of the money I gave her...I see him Monday. He's been practicing law for 43 years, was very friendly, listened, compassionate and told me not to worry he will get me a good deal...At this point I hate my wife, I want my lawyer to bleed her dry...Please don't judge me. When I'm less emotional I will explain the bankruptcy we went through...then you tell me if I have a right to hate her.

Hey lukin, we're still here and rooting for you like it's fourth and goal. It was really pretty awesome of that lawyer to give you the names of other lawyers. Make sure the new lawyer can hold his own against these people. I don't want to see you get a Morris Claiborne lawyer when you need a Jalen Ramsey. Spend time with Remi who can be trusted to love you no matter what. Heal emotionally knowing you are not to blame and you've been spared a life time of crossing oceans while she won't hop a puddle for you. You are getting your life back.

No need to explain why you hate your wife or want revenge. Right now, we all want revenge for you to some degree. I'm sure you've heard the saying "There's a thin line between love and hate". It was not your decision to abandon your wife, she abandoned you. For now, get down to the business of looking out for yourself as property is divided. Provide everything you can that will help your cause. Tell your lawyer the truth and don't forget about her leaving you off her insurance.

 

[lukin2006]

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Hey lukin, we're still here and rooting for you like it's fourth and goal. It was really pretty awesome of that lawyer to give you the names of other lawyers. Make sure the new lawyer can hold his own against these people. I don't want to see you get a Morris Claiborne lawyer when you need a Jalen Ramsey. Spend time with Remi who can be trusted to love you no matter what. Heal emotionally knowing you are not to blame and you've been spared a life time of crossing oceans while she won't hop a puddle for you. You are getting your life back.

No need to explain why you hate your wife or want revenge. Right now, we all want revenge for you to some degree. I'm sure you've heard the saying "There's a thin line between love and hate". It was not your decision to abandon your wife, she abandoned you. For now, get down to the business of looking out for yourself as property is divided. Provide everything you can that will help your cause. Tell your lawyer the truth and don't forget about her leaving you off her insurance.

Thank you. I think the lawyer I got will be good. During our consult he was asking me questions that I planned on asking him...I know this divorce is going to be costly in lawyers fees...but Im in 50's with a disability and no income...so yes I need a good lawyer. I spend as much time with my Remi as I can. That's why I want the process started and over quickly so I can heal emotionally, but also physically ... I do not get enough sleep right now. Thanks for the reminder about the benefits.

I unknowingly helped my cause by financially supporting her UK trip. My lawyer figures he can get 1/2 the money back. He also thinks I can get a higher percentage of the house because I'm driving the older vehicle that never breaks, my jeep is in the garage monthly. I do know this, what cash I have left I'm giving her more without a fight...and I don't have much, I'd like to take a vacation when this over. My wife makes a very good income. I honestly don't think she knows how much she has to lose...her loss now. I tried so hard to get her to at least try marriage counselling.

 

[Xelda]

A little homework for you that you are not going to like at all. Get a notebook and try to remember everything she's done against you that will be useful in your case. Drinking the last soda doesn't count, but dig down and remember the negative and write enough of it down to help you when you go to your lawyer. Receipts are good if you've kept them, but anything that helps you financially is going to be worth dredging up the bad memories. I know people that lost everything just for the sake of getting out. They regret it daily and wish they'd fought for what was rightfully theirs. We're still here for you. Good thoughts heading your way.

 

[lukin2006]

Met with my real estate agent today. I live in a sellers market, homes go over the asking price. 8 years ago I paid 144 000, my real estate agent thinks he can get north of 250 000 ... I'm no financial expert but thats a pretty good return on our investmentI would think...and to my surprise my is agreeable to stay on as an investor if I decide to port the mortgage and buy another home. So today was a great day. I decided I'm buying another townhome or semi detached in another town that is on the cusp of a real estate boom...The one thing Ive been good at is timing, I always list in a sellers market and do well.

 

[lukin2006]

I needed some good news...

 

[CouchCoach]

I needed some good news...

Ya see there? If ya wait long enough, something good will happen or you'll get hit by a manure truck. Either way, yesterday's problems are yesterday.

 

[Xelda]

I seriously doubt anyone would believe the ad I have at the bottom of my screen right now. Free Divorce Papers: Free to Print, Save & Download. Make Your Divorce Papers Today. It's from rocketlawyer.com.

 

[Runwildboys]

I seriously doubt anyone would believe the ad I have at the bottom of my screen right now. Free Divorce Papers: Free to Print, Save & Download. Make Your Divorce Papers Today. It's from rocketlawyer.com.

I'm not even a little surprised..........For some odd reason, I keep getting ads for a Chinese dating site.

 

[Ranched]

I'll get around to replying to individual responses in the days ahead. I was not happy with the lawyer I saw on Friday. I felt she was more on my wives side than mine. Didn't take my disability into concern, even though I have medical documentation ... I am consulting with another lawyer tomorrow. Hope he listens better. I have to get this right. I need the best lawyer in my corner. Am I correct to consult with another lawyer if I was not happy with my original choice? I always figure your lawyer should back you 100% ... and I need to feel confidant he/she has my back.

Absolutely. You're lawyer needs to be your best friend regarding a divorce.

 

[Ranched]

Update...It's been a very emotional afternoon. As I posted I made a consult with another law firm, only to find out my wife has retained them. They gave me a paper with 2 names circled of lawyers they recommend. I cried all the way home, my situation felt hopeless ... so I got home, was greeted by my dog Remi and I fed her. Made myself a CC and coke and called the first lawyer on the list ... he gave me a consult over the phone (he is in Tennessee on vacation) ... wow this is what a good lawyer is like ... he is not cheap ... but thinks we can get a higher percentage of the house and possibly recoup some of the money I gave her...I see him Monday. He's been practicing law for 43 years, was very friendly, listened, compassionate and told me not to worry he will get me a good deal...At this point I hate my wife, I want my lawyer to bleed her dry...Please don't judge me. When I'm less emotional I will explain the bankruptcy we went through...then you tell me if I have a right to hate her.

I'm glad you retained a good lawyer my friend. I have a saying that I wish to share with you, if I haven't already. Karma Is A Beautiful Thing

 

[Ranched]

So very sorry to hear what you are going through. None of that is acceptable. The being friends. I hear yeah. My Ex and I thought we'd stay friends, but you can not be friends with someone who treats you badly. My Ex has treated me very badly. stand your ground ... most importantly keep your dignity. Keep your chin up. Keep us updated.

Look at you luk. I'm proud of you sharing advice that was given to you. Now, listen to your own words/advice.

 

[kskboys]

A little homework for you that you are not going to like at all. Get a notebook and try to remember everything she's done against you that will be useful in your case. Drinking the last soda doesn't count, but dig down and remember the negative and write enough of it down to help you when you go to your lawyer. Receipts are good if you've kept them, but anything that helps you financially is going to be worth dredging up the bad memories. I know people that lost everything just for the sake of getting out. They regret it daily and wish they'd fought for what was rightfully theirs. We're still here for you. Good thoughts heading your way.

Me too, I know several. One guy took $5,000 when the lady owed him over $100,000. You should've seen the look on her lawyer's face when the offer was made.

 

[CouchCoach]

Absolutely. You're lawyer needs to be your best friend regarding a divorce.

luky wuky, that's the worst part, my man. You're going to have to be best friends with a lawyer.

 

[lukin2006]

Well I think I am going with an apartment for now. I think I just want to cut ties with my wife completely. Now she is pinning the separation on me by saying 'you seem happy", really, she left, now I'm the one going through and sorting through 30 years of memories and deciding what to keep and what to toss ... with no help from her. I'll be handling the sale of this house, she wants her 1/2 of the investment ... that I wisely choose, but wants none of the responsibility for getting the place sold. I hope my lawyer can get me more than 50% of the house for the trouble she is putting me through.

 

[lukin2006]

It's all in my lawyers hands now. The good thing. He is a good lawyer and I felt like have known him for years. Is that a good sign?

 

[lukin2006]

Also after talking to my lawyer today, he said the worst thing a man can do is get married....

 

[CouchCoach]

It's all in my lawyers hands now. The good thing. He is a good lawyer and I felt like have known him for years. Is that a good sign?

Sure it is, lawyers are just people and they'll work harder for people they like.

 

[DFWJC]

It's all in my lawyers hands now. The good thing. He is a good lawyer and I felt like have known him for years. Is that a good sign?

Should be.
Do you anticipate this to drag on much, where there would be a lot of extra billable hours? I'd think as someone you trust, we may help keep it to what is necessary only.

 

[CouchCoach]

Also after talking to my lawyer today, he said the worst thing a man can do is get married....

Sounds like sour grapes from a marriage(s) gone south in a fury. Marriage is not right for everybody but there are some very happily married men here and they'll tell you that.

Married men live longer, that is fact. It's not about marriage, that's not the problem. It's getting married for the wrong reasons and infatuation or lust or feeling the "need" to be married are poor reasons.

You have some good memories through the years and that's not the "worst thing".

 

[CouchCoach]

Should be.
Do you anticipate this to drag on much, where there would be a lot of extra billable hours? I'd think as someone you trust, we may help keep it to what is necessary only.

Shouldn't get billable hours unless this is contested and a court battle ensues. Should be a flat rate for this.