Separated/Divorce

[lukin2006]

lukin, you are one of us and we're rooting for you.

Thank you

 

[lukin2006]

lukin will be alright soon enough. He will end up meeting someone unexpectedly who he can go bird watching with and hit up those early-bird dinners

You don't have to get married again but it is healthy to find another companion

Marriage no. A companion possibly. It will be a while though.

 

[Ranched]

I spent almost 2 hour with my lawyer today ... I never felt rushed. He answered every question. He is expensive and good, I need good and creative. I am in a very vulnerable position and my lawyer understands that. I feel confidant that he'll strike a fair deal for both parties. I made that clear that I want a fair deal for both. I refuse to be that bitter Ex...

 

[Montanalo]

I spent almost 2 hour with my lawyer today ... I never felt rushed. He answered every question. He is expensive and good, I need good and creative. I am in a very vulnerable position and my lawyer understands that. I feel confidant that he'll strike a fair deal for both parties. I made that clear that I want a fair deal for both. I refuse to be that bitter Ex...

The best pieces of advice I got regarding my divorce were: first, find a good lawyer, but do your own homework with regard to asset valuation, divisionof property, etc. In other words, help your attorney help you. Second, being "fair" sounds and feels noble, but... first and foremost, look after yourself.

I know that sounds a bit cold, but believe me, if you enter a divorce proceeding expecting the "law" to protect you, then you will most likely end up bitterly disappointed.

 

[lukin2006]

The best pieces of advice I got regarding my divorce were: first, find a good lawyer, but do your own homework with regard to asset valuation, divisionof property, etc. In other words, help your attorney help you. Second, being "fair" sounds and feels noble, but... first and foremost, look after yourself.

I know that sounds a bit cold, but believe me, if you enter a divorce proceeding expecting the "law" to protect you, then you will most likely end up bitterly disappointed.

I agree. I have no doubt my lawyer will get me a fair agreement. We got the jump on them. I've been doing my homework, getting forms filled ...

 

[lukin2006]

My wife is in for a shock come Friday. Lawyers need to be retained. She will need to pay her lawyer Friday before her lawyer will even make a phone call.

You wanna know what really stinks. Over and over I offered for us to draft an agreement. Take it to the lawyers and pay a fraction of the cost just to have them review it. But she didn't think I'd hire a lawyer I guess.

 

[Montanalo]

My wife is in for a shock come Friday. Lawyers need to be retained. She will need to pay her lawyer Friday before her lawyer will even make a phone call.

You wanna know what really stinks. Over and over I offered for us to draft an agreement. Take it to the lawyers and pay a fraction of the cost just to have them review it. But she didn't think I'd hire a lawyer I guess.

I obviously don't know your wife or, for that matter you, but her actions suggest to me that she expected to breeze through the divorce on her terms rather than negotiate.

 

[lukin2006]

I obviously don't know your wife or, for that matter you, but her actions suggest to me that she expected to breeze through the divorce on her terms rather than negotiate.

She does. Everything in our marriage started changing a year ago. She made new friends and became distant. My wife can be naive at times ... I honestly think one of her new friends has her convinced it will be a breeze. It won't be, there are forms to fill out. She will have to produce the last 6 months pay stubs and 3 year tax returns. I must do this also, but I knew this even before I went to the lawyer. It didn't have to be this complicated. Her stubbornness is going to cost her.

But I can not worry about her lack of common sense anymore.

 

[lukin2006]

She'll be here Friday to sign to sell those. There are no more negotiations with me. I am handing her my lawyers business card and telling her to let her lawyer know who my lawyer is and inform her to let her lawyer know we are entering negotiations.

 

[kskboys]

She does. Everything in our marriage started changing a year ago. She made new friends and became distant. My wife can be naive at times ... I honestly think one of her new friends has her convinced it will be a breeze. It won't be, there are forms to fill out. She will have to produce the last 6 months pay stubs and 3 year tax returns. I must do this also, but I knew this even before I went to the lawyer. It didn't have to be this complicated. Her stubbornness is going to cost her.

But I can not worry about her lack of common sense anymore.

That is the right way to go!!! Be fair, but take care of yourself.

 

[lukin2006]

That is the right way to go!!! Be fair, but take care of yourself.

And she hates being inconvenienced and told what to do. So now there will be plenty of inconvenience and lawyers, the law and maybe a judge telling this is the way is ... suck it up buttercup. However, my lawyer does not think this will get to litigation.

 

[kskboys]

And she hates being inconvenienced and told what to do. So now there will be plenty of inconvenience and lawyers, the law and maybe a judge telling this is the way is ... suck it up buttercup. However, my lawyer does not think this will get to litigation.

Whatever happens, don't let yourself get caught up in the nastiness. If she starts being nasty, ignore and remain cold and businesslike. Don't act any way that will make you feel small or petty. This has become a business transaction, treat it as such.

 

[lukin2006]

Whatever happens, don't let yourself get caught up in the nastiness. If she starts being nasty, ignore and remain cold and businesslike. Don't act any way that will make you feel small or petty. This has become a business transaction, treat it as such.

I agree. I am going to keep the peace. The lawyers can do the the negations. A friend of mine paid $9000 for a separation agreement. Couldn't get her to agree to anything easily. She passed away shortly after the agreement was signed. Ouch.

 

[Runwildboys]

Whatever happens, don't let yourself get caught up in the nastiness. If she starts being nasty, ignore and remain cold and businesslike. Don't act any way that will make you feel small or petty. This has become a business transaction, treat it as such.

Or hire a hit man.

 

[lukin2006]

Or hire a hit man.

 

[Montanalo]

Or hire a hit man.

When I started divorce proceedings many years ago, my attorney (somewhat jokingly) suggested it would far less expensive and less aggravation to simply "take her out" and do my time.

Of course I didn't do it, but it still makes me smile to this day.

 

[Runwildboys]

When I started divorce proceedings many years ago, my attorney (somewhat jokingly) suggested it would far less expensive and less aggravation to simply "take her out" and do my time.

Of course I didn't do it, but it still makes me smile to this day.

He's probably used that "joke" with every client he's ever had..... maybe looking for someone to bite.

 

[lukin2006]

He's probably used that "joke" with every client he's ever had..... maybe looking for someone to bite.

What if someone took his advice??? Would that not make him an accessory or whatever its called... seems like a joke best left un-said.

 

[Montanalo]

He's probably used that "joke" with every client he's ever had..... maybe looking for someone to bite.

I am sure he has... and, in all seriousness, his point was to emphasis how challenging a contentious divorce can be.

TRUE STORY (It has to be true because I used ALL caps)

Some on this site are aware that my wife is Russian and still has family and friends living there. A few year's ago, one of her close friends and her friend's husband visited us for several days. Now, my Russian is reasonable good, but during a dinner conversation, when everyone is talking at once, I miss out on a lot of the conversation -- I just can't keep up. One such conversation went something like this:

Me: What did Gennady say about "knowing people"?
My Wife: Oh, you don't want to go down this path with Gennady.
Me (of course I didn't listen): Gennady, excuse my poor Russian, but what did you mean when you said, "you know people"?
Gennady (It is best to imagine this in an exaggerated Hollywood actor's Russian accent): Your lovely wife says you still have problems with your ex-wife
Me: Yes, but...
Gennady: I know people...
Me: And?
Gennady: Maybe brakes fail on your ex-wife's car, may she falls off bridge, maybe she eats something that makes her very ill.... you know, accidents happen
Me: Would you like more wine?

 

[Runwildboys]

I am sure he has... and, in all seriousness, his point was to emphasis how challenging a contentious divorce can be.

TRUE STORY (It has to be true because I used ALL caps)

Some on this site are aware that my wife is Russian and still has family and friends living there. A few year's ago, one of her close friends and her friend's husband visited us for several days. Now, my Russian is reasonable good, but during a dinner conversation, when everyone is talking at once, I miss out on a lot of the conversation -- I just can't keep up. One such conversation went something like this:

Me: What did Gennady say about "knowing people"?
My Wife: Oh, you don't want to go down this path with Gennady.
Me (of course I didn't listen): Gennady, excuse my poor Russian, but what did you mean when you said, "you know people"?
Gennady (It is best to imagine this in an exaggerated Hollywood actor's Russian accent): Your lovely wife says you still have problems with your ex-wife
Me: Yes, but...
Gennady: I know people...
Me: And?
Gennady: Maybe brakes fail on your ex-wife's car, may she falls off bridge, maybe she eats something that makes her very ill.... you know, accidents happen
Me: Would you like more wine?

Lol....If I had a nickel...