Cursing!!!

[sacase]

Well for me here it is:

When I was growing up, I knew better than to curse around my family. That was instant wash your mouth out with soap and a belt. However, around my 5 buddies, we cursed just to curse cause we thought we were cool when we cursed, we would drop the f bomb so much it didn't even make sense to what we were saying, but we knew better than to say it around adults. As I got older I knew that I didn't want to curse around women as you came off as uncouth. Not cool at all. once I was in the military the cursing went up, but not to bad in garrison, but when we went to the field or deployed.......wow....f this, ** that, etc. I remember some guys had to pay attention to what they were saying for about a week after they got home, we were BAD in the field or on deployment.

Now as a working professional I am aware of the implications of cursing in my environment. Not saying its good or bad, but it has its uses. I have been known to lay into my boss when stupid stuff is happening. Even my partner at work has been known to curse, but I am the worst. But we tend to keep it in office, unless we are talking amongst peers whom we trust. There are some FBI or ICE or NCIS guys that I will curse around, but they tend to be personal friends. Every now and then somoene will drop a f bomb in a working group. By the way, all of us have between a bachelors degree up to a law degree, so these are very educated people. We are all Special Agents, with many of us ex-military.

So what is comes down to there is a time and place. I personally try to watch out for little kids and women. I don't want them to hear me. I really use it sparingly now that I think about it. Maybe only around close friends or if I am pissed at work.

One thing that I always thought was funny was when people said things like frak or some replacement word. Why is the replacement word ok? It means the exact same thing, you just changed the word. That's like saying " I am fraking tired" vs saying "I am fbomb tired" It is the exact same thing, but frak it ok to say.

 

[jnday]

Anything can be offensive, and if we follow that reasoning, then we shouldn't say anything because someone may get offended.

Personally, I have very little respect for people that get offended over much of anything that isn't a direct attack on someone.

I have never been known to be PC or worry about offending many people, but I always try to be respectful of the people around me. I see no reason to curse around women and children.

 

[FloridaRob]

If I saw someone in a Packers jersey and for whatever lame reason, I decided it offended me, or it was vulgar, and I asked them to take it off or leave, you'd be okay with that? And I'm not talking about at my house, I'm talking about anywhere out in public. Should the Packer fan respect that I don't want to be offended by his jersey and don't want my kids seeing it or thinking it's something okay to wear?

Speaking for me personally though, I do my best not to use those words around people who I either know are bothered by it or if I'm not sure if they may be. I do it as a courtesy, but that doesn't change the fact that I think it's stupid and downright silly that someone gets bothered by a word, especially if they are okay with other words with the same meaning. Poop or ****, it's the same thing. If there is anything to get upset about, it's the context in which words may be used, not the words themselves.

As a civilized society there are reasons we act certain ways. Most of us (not all unfortunately) know better than to fart or belch in public. Because we know it is rude and disrespectful to others. I am sure at one time that was acceptable behavior. Most of us know we should not light up a cigarette in a closed environment and blow the smoke in peoples face. We know it is disrespectful to others and rude. I know that used to be acceptable behavior as recent as 25 years ago. We don't sexually harass women anymore because it is rude and disrespectful. That type of behavior was acceptable not long ago. F Bombs and ** bombs and S Bombs are just farts of the mouth. Most of us know when and when not to do it. It is rude and disrespectful of others. There are certain places I expect it to hear it. At a bar or a poker game I know I am going to hear it. I am not offended there. It is their environment that I have entered. But I don't expect or want to hear it from some young teenager while I am walking into Chucky Cheese with my grandkids.

 

[Teren_Kanan]

And people who are offended by the words just need to what? I don't really agree with much of your post here, only because some of those words do actually represent certain things and it's not a matter of just arbitrarily attaching some kind of stigmatic meaning to them. There is basis behind them.

The argument about people who owned slaves is, IMO, not a valid comparison. Not only were they forced to comply to the fact that owning slaves offended a certain segment of people who were, more then likely different then the slave owner, that was also like 150 years ago. We should really be maturing, IMO or, to use your own words, grow up. We should not be ignoring the obvious discomfort that kind of language produces in certain segments of our society but rather, we should be holding people to a hire standard of behavior and not simply tolerating. We should be forcing our own society to be more tolerant and respectful of other peoples feelings.

People who are offended by the words.. need to ignore it. Just like we teach our kids to ignore people who poke fun at them. There is nothing mature or immature about those words. They are words. There is not one single word on the planet that invokes any sort of discomfort in me on it's own, it is absolutely mind boggling that people go and get offended where none is intended. If there were no such thing as "bad" words, then people couldn't say "Bad" words.

There should be a drastic difference between hearing the word F (should not cause discomfort in a human being) and having someone tell you to go F yourself. One is intended to offend, one is not. And you can certainly offend someone WITHOUT using curse words. Shouldn't that be what people get upset over? I don't believe in going around intentionally offending people. Why would we do that to one another? But to CREATE an offense where none is intended is a ridiculous concept to live by. It's perfectly acceptable to not associate with someone you don't like, for whatever reason, ignore them and move on.

And there has still not been any logical reason in this thread as to why the words are bad or should not be said. Or how they can hurt anything.

The point of the slave comment only pertained to "cause my dad's dad's dad" etc comment, not the actual comparison of cursing vs owning slaves. I don't give a crap what my dad or dad's dad thinks. I can think for myself. It's discomforting when I feel I have to control the way I speak because people create arbitrary things to get offended or "Discomforted" over. Having words be "Bad" in the sense that people shouldn't use them is like trying to outlaw sex or drugs. Never going to work, never has, never will. The problem goes away when the stigma of the words do. People just need to let it go. As I said earlier, people wouldn't be nearly as drawn to said words (especially children) if they weren't "Bad". They'd just be ordinary words. It would take a while, but eventually those words wouldn't be nearly as common.

Part of maturity is emotional control. No kind of language should cause discomfort in a person, unless discomfort is the intent behind it. Creating arbitrary rules with absolutely no logic behind them isn't a "Higher standard", it's just arbitrary. Tolerance and respect can be used on BOTH Sides of this argument, so I won't really get into that. I certainly believe we should be tolerant and respectful. I try not to curse around people it offends, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's idiotic that it offends them. I just feel like rules need logic and good reason behind them. Once you start letting arbitrary crap take over, people just keep adding more arbitrary crap. There USED to be a basis behind them being bad, we've progressed beyond that in our society. They are now just every day words you practically hear anywhere you go. Kids, adults, TV, music, it's all over and it's not going to just magically go away.

 

[Teren_Kanan]

As a civilized society there are reasons we act certain ways. Most of us (not all unfortunately) know better than to fart or belch in public. Because we know it is rude and disrespectful to others. I am sure at one time that was acceptable behavior. Most of us know we should not light up a cigarette in a closed environment and blow the smoke in peoples face. We know it is disrespectful to others and rude. I know that used to be acceptable behavior as recent as 25 years ago. We don't sexually harass women anymore because it is rude and disrespectful. That type of behavior was acceptable not long ago. F Bombs and ** bombs and S Bombs are just farts of the mouth. Most of us know when and when not to do it. It is rude and disrespectful of others. There are certain places I expect it to hear it. At a bar or a poker game I know I am going to hear it. I am not offended there. It is their environment that I have entered. But I don't expect or want to hear it from some young teenager while I am walking into Chucky Cheese with my grandkids.

There are logical reasons why smoke, sexual harassment, and farts/belches should not be used in the ways your described. There is no logical argument behind the curse words. F bombs don't smell awful, are not harmful to your health, and aren't harassment.

 

[WV Cowboy]

I don't give a crap what my dad or dad's dad thinks. I can think for myself.

This is all I need to know, ... what a shame that your Dad or Grandfather did not earn your respect.

Or that you weren't wise enough to give it.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

People who are offended by the words.. need to ignore it. Just like we teach our kids to ignore people who poke fun at them. There is nothing mature or immature about those words. They are words. There is not one single word on the planet that invokes any sort of discomfort in me on it's own, it is absolutely mind boggling that people go and get offended where none is intended. If there were no such thing as "bad" words, then people couldn't say "Bad" words.

There should be a drastic difference between hearing the word F (should not cause discomfort in a human being) and having someone tell you to go F yourself. One is intended to offend, one is not. And you can certainly offend someone WITHOUT using curse words. Shouldn't that be what people get upset over? I don't believe in going around intentionally offending people. Why would we do that to one another? But to CREATE an offense where none is intended is a ridiculous concept to live by. It's perfectly acceptable to not associate with someone you don't like, for whatever reason, ignore them and move on.

And there has still not been any logical reason in this thread as to why the words are bad or should not be said. Or how they can hurt anything.

The point of the slave comment only pertained to "cause my dad's dad's dad" etc comment, not the actual comparison of cursing vs owning slaves. I don't give a crap what my dad or dad's dad thinks. I can think for myself. It's discomforting when I feel I have to control the way I speak because people create arbitrary things to get offended or "Discomforted" over. Having words be "Bad" in the sense that people shouldn't use them is like trying to outlaw sex or drugs. Never going to work, never has, never will. The problem goes away when the stigma of the words do. People just need to let it go. As I said earlier, people wouldn't be nearly as drawn to said words (especially children) if they weren't "Bad". They'd just be ordinary words. It would take a while, but eventually those words wouldn't be nearly as common.

Part of maturity is emotional control. No kind of language should cause discomfort in a person, unless discomfort is the intent behind it. Creating arbitrary rules with absolutely no logic behind them isn't a "Higher standard", it's just arbitrary. Tolerance and respect can be used on BOTH Sides of this argument, so I won't really get into that. I certainly believe we should be tolerant and respectful. I try not to curse around people it offends, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's idiotic that it offends them. I just feel like rules need logic and good reason behind them. Once you start letting arbitrary crap take over, people just keep adding more arbitrary crap. There USED to be a basis behind them being bad, we've progressed beyond that in our society. They are now just every day words you practically hear anywhere you go. Kids, adults, TV, music, it's all over and it's not going to just magically go away.

Were you also not taught to respect other peoples opinions, wishes and to be sensitive to other people and what might be offensive to them?

Seems to me like you are picking and choosing what is important and what is not important.

Nothing worth having comes or goes magically but that doesn't mean it's not worth the effort.

 

[ologan]

After reading many of these, one word keeps coming to the forefront, and if you had to choose only one word to sum up the central theme of this thread, to me it would be RESPECT!! You either believe in respecting others, only pay it lip service, or only worry about your own personal world,and others be damned.

IMHO.

 

[FloridaRob]

There are logical reasons why smoke, sexual harassment, and farts/belches should not be used in the ways your described. There is no logical argument behind the curse words. F bombs don't smell awful, are not harmful to your health, and aren't harassment.

And I have heard some people say that if they feel the urge to fart they do it regardless where they are, that they refuse to go to a restaurant that does not allow smoking because the restaurant is discriminating against them, or that if women don't want sexual comments made to them they need to stay inside or not dress the way they do. Again, it is about respect. Cursing in the wrong situation is disrespectful, crass, and rude.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

If I saw someone in a Packers jersey and for whatever lame reason, I decided it offended me, or it was vulgar, and I asked them to take it off or leave, you'd be okay with that? And I'm not talking about at my house, I'm talking about anywhere out in public. Should the Packer fan respect that I don't want to be offended by his jersey and don't want my kids seeing it or thinking it's something okay to wear?

Speaking for me personally though, I do my best not to use those words around people who I either know are bothered by it or if I'm not sure if they may be. I do it as a courtesy, but that doesn't change the fact that I think it's stupid and downright silly that someone gets bothered by a word, especially if they are okay with other words with the same meaning. Poop or ****, it's the same thing. If there is anything to get upset about, it's the context in which words may be used, not the words themselves.

This is an extreme example. Society doesn't frown on Packer's Jerseys. Well, maybe a very small segment in Chicago but other then that, not so much. Offensive Language is different. I think it's important to keep the discussion in the proper context. In this country, you have rights and those rights extend to the point where you are infringing upon other peoples rights. That is how I view this.

 

[BlindFaith]

Just curious, but did anyone ever watch the latest Battlestar Galactica series? They simply replaced f_c_ with frak. Is frak socially acceptable? They are using it to mean the same thing. Or frick. Shyte is used on television now. Why is s*i* so much worse than crap or shoot or any other word you want to use?

I don't condone swearing and I teach my daughter that it's a respect thing, but I honestly don't see the harm either, other than the fact that some people get offended by it.

But some people get offended by nudity too. And it's fairly common and accepted in other countries. And religion. Do you think atheists get offended when someone says "God bless you?" It would be like an atheist saying "Peter Pan bless you" to a christian.

It comes down to respecting people, even if you don't agree that they should be offended.

 

[daschoo]

Do you think atheists get offended when someone says "God bless you?"

Slightly off topic but kinda related to this. Does anyone else find it ridiculous when a sports person thanks god after a win? Taking aside the atheism side of it and assuming that there is a God does that mean God chose the other person to lose? A more serious example recently was in December last year when a helicopter crashed into a pub in my home town killing 10. One of the survivors gave an interview on the radio stating that because he was running late when he got to the bar his usual spot was taken so had to sit elsewhere and if he had been in his usual spot he'd have been killed. Voiced the opinion that "someone up there" was looking after him. By extension he's surely saying that the other person was placed in the fatal spot by design? Maybe I'm reading to much into it but it's something that irritates me.

Addressing the actual point I think if an atheist is offended by someone saying God bless you then it says more about them individually than anything else. Much the same as swearing I would say it's ridiculous to take offence when clearly none is intended.

 

[BrAinPaiNt]

Just a reminder not to turn this into talking about religion.

 

[daschoo]

Sorry wasn't any intent to discuss religion, just to clarify I was trying to discuss the full implications of those statements not trying to offer any opinion or start a discussion on the merits of any religion.

 

[Future]

After reading many of these, one word keeps coming to the forefront, and if you had to choose only one word to sum up the central theme of this thread, to me it would be RESPECT!! You either believe in respecting others, only pay it lip service, or only worry about your own personal world,and others be damned.

IMHO.

You can use four letter words and still be respectful....you can use them to actually show someone how much you respect them. "I really ********* respect you, man!" lol

 

[Aikmaniac]

I am in total agreement with Florida Rob. There is a definite change where cursing has become just part of the conversation.

I'm not going to say I do not curse, because I do when I'm angry but I am disciplined enough to know when to let it out and when to be respectful of those around me.

It all comes down to discipline and respect.

 

[BringBackThatOleTimeBoys]

To the moderators: I won't try the following here.

If at some time someone has the urge to talk really dirty, I might have the urge to quote it EXCEPT replace every curse word with graphic icons illustrating the f-bomb, s-bomb, etc, etc. I'd expect revulsion over icons of sex acts, manure, etc. If it's not already obvious, this thought exercise is to illustrate how desensitized many of us are to this kind of language and don't think about what they are saying. Just think about it. When someone is f-bombing, the meaning is often senseless except to figuratively grab the listener and shake them up - shock, shock, shock. But it's used so often that shock value is diminished, and it's still vulgar.

It's not just what you say, but how you say it. Body language and passion if speaking - choice of words in written form. Too many people go over the top expressing how upset they are, and it's not just in profanities and vulgarities. "Worst ever" is overused...it can't be worst if expressed very often. Same goes for comparisons to Hitler and the ***** - just a loaded worst ever phrase.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

You can use four letter words and still be respectful....you can use them to actually show someone how much you respect them. "I really ********* respect you, man!" lol

Sure. If you were speaking to a pier or a friend, then I can see that but I would never say that to my Grandfather, were he still alive. I would never want to hear my Grandson tell me this either.

I mean, how much can I really respect them or they I if I/they can't even show enough respect to refrain from using language I know is not respected?

 

[Future]

Sure. If you were speaking to a pier or a friend, then I can see that but I would never say that to my Grandfather, were he still alive. I would never want to hear my Grandson tell me this either.

I mean, how much can I really respect them or they I if I/they can't even show enough respect to refrain from using language I know is not respected?

...I was kidding

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

...I was kidding

OK.