FEATURED Morning Pops!

[Runwildboys]

Evening Pops and everyone.

Xel, I'm right there with you on the cloudy days. Prefer overcast to full sunshine, but love me a good windows rattlin' thunderstorm too.

Gimme sunshine all day long!

 

[GrammaJan]

I apologize I advance for rambling. I guess it's a bit therapeutic to get this out instead of holding it in.

The past few weeks have been full of a slow-building nervousness... kind of like when one of those really sweet summer storms starts appearing in the distance on a hot day; you can see and almost feel it slowly crawling over the fields, gaining in strength and intensity as it nears. The smell... you can smell it in the air as the soil seems to rise up to meet it's approach and there's that weird silence and almost yellowish-gray sky; the birds grow quiet, the cicada song stops, and everything is just eerily... still. All movement stops until out of nowhere gusty winds, driving rain and occasionally hail if the weather front is just right.

What's causing all of this upheaval in me? A single trip to Iowa City for my six-month scans and follow up. I don't know that I'll ever be able to shake the anxiety and just get on with life. I feel I'm wasting living in all the worry.

Tuesday is the big day and the weekend before is always the worst because I'm not at work with all those distractions (sigh...) I get inside my own head and am a wreck the whole weekend with what is likely imaginary aches and pains that seem to disappear as soon as I get to University Hospital. I make myself sick worrying about being sick, and the truth is I really shouldn't worry about something I can't control.

This is when it really sucks being single. Having someone to be able to lean into was nice for the short time he was here while I was dealing with this mess. Family doesn't even remember that I still have to deal with this, except my sister. God bless her. Co-workers just roll their eyes when they see I'm going to be gone for this visit and they see how anxious I get, except my friend Cassie (our bookkeeper). She has been there for me from the beginning when I went back to work after my diagnosis and still is. God bless her too.

Tomorrow the apartment I live in will get a vigorous scrubbing to work off some of the nervous energy. I hope it's ready for the "storm" it's about to be blindsided with.

I'm not saying all this for attention, I just needed to get it out. Thank you for your time and tolerance.

 

[Runwildboys]

I apologize I advance for rambling. I guess it's a bit therapeutic to get this out instead of holding it in.

The past few weeks have been full of a slow-building nervousness... kind of like when one of those really sweet summer storms starts appearing in the distance on a hot day; you can see and almost feel it slowly crawling over the fields, gaining in strength and intensity as it nears. The smell... you can smell it in the air as the soil seems to rise up to meet it's approach and there's that weird silence and almost yellowish-gray sky; the birds grow quiet, the cicada song stops, and everything is just eerily... still. All movement stops until out of nowhere gusty winds, driving rain and occasionally hail if the weather front is just right.

What's causing all of this upheaval in me? A single trip to Iowa City for my six-month scans and follow up. I don't know that I'll ever be able to shake the anxiety and just get on with life. I feel I'm wasting living in all the worry.

Tuesday is the big day and the weekend before is always the worst because I'm not at work with all those distractions (sigh...) I get inside my own head and am a wreck the whole weekend with what is likely imaginary aches and pains that seem to disappear as soon as I get to University Hospital. I make myself sick worrying about being sick, and the truth is I really shouldn't worry about something I can't control.

This is when it really sucks being single. Having someone to be able to lean into was nice for the short time he was here while I was dealing with this mess. Family doesn't even remember that I still have to deal with this, except my sister. God bless her. Co-workers just roll their eyes when they see I'm going to be gone for this visit and they see how anxious I get, except my friend Cassie (our bookkeeper). She has been there for me from the beginning when I went back to work after my diagnosis and still is. God bless her too.

Tomorrow the apartment I live in will get a vigorous scrubbing to work off some of the nervous energy. I hope it's ready for the "storm" it's about to be blindsided with.

I'm not saying all this for attention, I just needed to get it out. Thank you for your time and tolerance.

"Tolerance" is definitely the wrong word, Jan. "Understanding", "caring", and "hoping" are the words we'd use.

Obviously, there's nothing I can say to make you less nervous, because you already know that worrying can't help, and laughing always does. If all else fails, I recommend watching some good comedies and stand-up specials. Let your mind be told what to think about, rather than be your own worst enemy.

 

[GrammaJan]

"Tolerance" is definitely the wrong word, Jan. "Understanding", "caring", and "hoping" are the words we'd use.

Obviously, there's nothing I can say to make you less nervous, because you already know that worrying can't help, and laughing always does. If all else fails, I recommend watching some good comedies and stand-up specials. Let your mind be told what to think about, rather than be your own worst enemy.

Thank you...

I have Second Hand Lions at the ready for tomorrow after I go through the paces of scrubbing this place. Great Robert Duvall/Michael Caine movie. There's a few others here I'll have to look into. Distraction is key.

 

[Runwildboys]

Thank you...

I have Second Hand Lions at the ready for tomorrow after I go through the paces of scrubbing this place. Great Robert Duvall/Michael Caine movie. There's a few others here I'll have to look into. Distraction is key.

Have you ever seen The Heat, with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock? Hilarious movie! How about Crazy People, with Dudley Moore and Daryl Hannah? It's not a well known movie, but it should be. It's one of the funniest I've ever seen.

 

[GrammaJan]

Have you ever seen The Heat, with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock? Hilarious movie! How about Crazy People, with Dudley Moore and Daryl Hannah? It's not a well known movie, but it should be. It's one of the funniest I've ever seen.

I believe I've seen The Heat but I haven't seen Crazy People. I need to go through my movies and see what I've got here. Been a while...

 

[LeonDixson]

You're in the Army now,
You're in the Army now,
You'll never get rich by digging a ditch
You're in the Army now.

Well, I got my trench done. I didn't get rich but I burned about a million calories. I'm now down to my birth weight I think. The back is sore but not killing me. I had to dig it by hand because I didn't know what else was down there and it's a good thing I did; a sprinkler pipe was down there. Although, in retrospect it would have been easier to rent a trencher and repair the pipe.

Have a blessed day. An d God bless you, @GrammaJan

 

[GrammaJan]

You're in the Army now,
You're in the Army now,
You'll never get rich by digging a ditch
You're in the Army now.

Well, I got my trench done. I didn't get rich but I burned about a million calories. I'm now down to my birth weight I think. The back is sore but not killing me. I had to dig it by hand because I didn't know what else was down there and it's a good thing I did; a sprinkler pipe was down there. Although, in retrospect it would have been easier to rent a trencher and repair the pipe.

Have a blessed day. An d God bless you, @GrammaJan

Morning Pops and everyone.

Leon, my memory isn't the best, but wasn't that the name of a Phil Silvers movie? Or was it Jerry Lewis... Anyway, my dad used too sing that when he was digging in his garden (love you dad...R.I.P.) He was a Korean War vet. Thank you for the short wander down memory lane.

The first wave of my cleaning attack has begun. Have I mentioned that I hate drawers? It's an excuse to put things out of sight rather than just dealing with them. If I do get to move next year this is a great start to cleaning out before the packing. (To myself I'm saying...) Keep it and file it, or toss it. Make a decision woman!

Back to it. Have a great day all.

 

[CouchCoach]

I apologize I advance for rambling. I guess it's a bit therapeutic to get this out instead of holding it in.

The past few weeks have been full of a slow-building nervousness... kind of like when one of those really sweet summer storms starts appearing in the distance on a hot day; you can see and almost feel it slowly crawling over the fields, gaining in strength and intensity as it nears. The smell... you can smell it in the air as the soil seems to rise up to meet it's approach and there's that weird silence and almost yellowish-gray sky; the birds grow quiet, the cicada song stops, and everything is just eerily... still. All movement stops until out of nowhere gusty winds, driving rain and occasionally hail if the weather front is just right.

What's causing all of this upheaval in me? A single trip to Iowa City for my six-month scans and follow up. I don't know that I'll ever be able to shake the anxiety and just get on with life. I feel I'm wasting living in all the worry.

Tuesday is the big day and the weekend before is always the worst because I'm not at work with all those distractions (sigh...) I get inside my own head and am a wreck the whole weekend with what is likely imaginary aches and pains that seem to disappear as soon as I get to University Hospital. I make myself sick worrying about being sick, and the truth is I really shouldn't worry about something I can't control.

This is when it really sucks being single. Having someone to be able to lean into was nice for the short time he was here while I was dealing with this mess. Family doesn't even remember that I still have to deal with this, except my sister. God bless her. Co-workers just roll their eyes when they see I'm going to be gone for this visit and they see how anxious I get, except my friend Cassie (our bookkeeper). She has been there for me from the beginning when I went back to work after my diagnosis and still is. God bless her too.

Tomorrow the apartment I live in will get a vigorous scrubbing to work off some of the nervous energy. I hope it's ready for the "storm" it's about to be blindsided with.

I'm not saying all this for attention, I just needed to get it out. Thank you for your time and tolerance.

Jan, please refrain from sharing personal issues here as we all have our crosses to bear. And you know I'm kidding about something I only know about from the peripheral vision of life. I use and abuse the fine folks in this thread more than anyone but I think that was part of the intention, from what I know of the type person Pops was.

Runny's advice is the best, distract yourself as best you can and when you feel your mind going where you don't want it, start talking to yourself out loud with as many affirmations as you can and know above everything else, you beat the monster before, you know how and you are not the person you were when you first defeated it, you are better and stronger, if you get the news you do not want.

When my wife was going through treatment, a different door to another world opened up. I was witness to the strongest and toughest people I've ever known, and the majority of them women. You have that strength but fear of the unknown can be as challenging as the monster itself but you will defeat that as well because you took the first step, getting that out in the open where you can deal with it. Fear grows best when it hides.

I started out trying to lighten your load a little but know this. No need to apologize or even explain how you are feeling because this thread isn't about posters, it's about people. I am a pretty shut off from the real world person and if I can share my feelings while not being remotely at the level of yours, you certainly do not need a disclaimer. You have friends right here in your corner and pulling for you and when I post something from inside myself, I immediately feel better because I feel people in here care about me. You will be in my thoughts until you share the good news with us about the results of your scan. Then, I will celebrate the good news.

 

[GrammaJan]

Jan, please refrain from sharing personal issues here as we all have our crosses to bear. And you know I'm kidding about something I only know about from the peripheral vision of life. I use and abuse the fine folks in this thread more than anyone but I think that was part of the intention, from what I know of the type person Pops was.

Runny's advice is the best, distract yourself as best you can and when you feel your mind going where you don't want it, start talking to yourself out loud with as many affirmations as you can and know above everything else, you beat the monster before, you know how and you are not the person you were when you first defeated it, you are better and stronger, if you get the news you do not want.

When my wife was going through treatment, a different door to another world opened up. I was witness to the strongest and toughest people I've ever known, and the majority of them women. You have that strength but fear of the unknown can be as challenging as the monster itself but you will defeat that as well because you took the first step, getting that out in the open where you can deal with it. Fear grows best when it hides.

I started out trying to lighten your load a little but know this. No need to apologize or even explain how you are feeling because this thread isn't about posters, it's about people. I am a pretty shut off from the real world person and if I can share my feelings while not being remotely at the level of yours, you certainly do not need a disclaimer. You have friends right here in your corner and pulling for you and when I post something from inside myself, I immediately feel better because I feel people in here care about me. You will be in my thoughts until you share the good news with us about the results of your scan. Then, I will celebrate the good news.

Thank you for the "chuck under the chin", CC. This is a pretty cool site... so many unique people and personalities, and although everyone hasn't come together at SOMEBODY'S condo on the beach in a certain tropical location (aaaahemmm....), everyone is very close and very understanding. It's a great family to be part of and the support, as you know, is amazing.

 

[CouchCoach]

Thank you for the "chuck under the chin", CC. This is a pretty cool site... so many unique people and personalities, and although everyone hasn't come together at SOMEBODY'S condo on the beach in a certain tropical location (aaaahemmm....), everyone is very close and very understanding. It's a great family to be part of and the support, as you know, is amazing.

Couldn't agree more and at times I feel there are people who care more about me than the people who should care about me. Gonna be a new Twofer Tuesday coming up, a good report and a relieved heart and mind of a fine lady.

 

[kskboys]

Thank you for the "chuck under the chin", CC. This is a pretty cool site... so many unique people and personalities, and although everyone hasn't come together at SOMEBODY'S condo on the beach in a certain tropical location (aaaahemmm....), everyone is very close and very understanding. It's a great family to be part of and the support, as you know, is amazing.

No condo, but I do gots a cabin in the woods.

 

[CouchCoach]

Thank you for the "chuck under the chin", CC. This is a pretty cool site... so many unique people and personalities, and although everyone hasn't come together at SOMEBODY'S condo on the beach in a certain tropical location (aaaahemmm....), everyone is very close and very understanding. It's a great family to be part of and the support, as you know, is amazing.

About that condo, Leon did not take me seriously when I said we would clean it up the next trip down there and I think he's being narrow minded with the lack of history....except that last trip down there.

Look anyone can make a mistake. Let him try making daiquiri's, margaritas and pina colada's all day in that crummy blender and it's easy to mistaken his box of screws, nuts and bolts for ice. Who in the hell keeps a tool chest at an island getaway? I keep ice in mine at home. I've got a good mind (questionable , I know) to not grace his bungalow with my presence again.

 

[CouchCoach]

No condo, but I do gots a cabin in the woods.

Like that one in the horror movie?

 

[GrammaJan]

Couldn't agree more and at times I feel there are people who care more about me than the people who should care about me. Gonna be a new Twofer Tuesday coming up, a good report and a relieved heart and mind of a fine lady.

Hit the nail square on the head!
I get that my daughter is pretty involved in a whole lot of stuff with the divorce, custody and other things, and she would be all in on this with me (along with my sister and coworker)

No condo, but I do gots a cabin in the woods.

I'm fairly partial to public utilities...

 

[Xelda]

Afternoon Pops and friends. You aren't alone, Jan. Everyone is going through something and you've gotten a lot of good advice from the friends here. Humor is different things to different people. My ex loved Woody Allen. Embarrassingly, I finally got one of his jokes. I'm more of a Three Stooges woman myself. One day he was in the living room watching an orchestra (snob) and I was in the bedroom howling with laughter. He finally got up to see what was so danged funny and came face to face with Larry, Moe, Curly and me.

Second Hand Lions is a really good movie. I love Trains, Planes and Automobiles. If caught in the right frame of mind, I'll laugh till it hurts. If you check out the funny image thread, funny video thread and funny meme's thread here you can find some good stuff. There's always the last few minutes of Rudy to inspire. We're here for you.

 

[CouchCoach]

Hit the nail square on the head!
I get that my daughter is pretty involved in a whole lot of stuff with the divorce, custody and other things, and she would be all in on this with me (along with my sister and coworker)

I'm fairly partial to public utilities...

Fairly partial doesn't cover it with me. Roughing it for me is no premium channels on the TV. My favorite alliteration? CouchCoach creature comforts create cool and calm creature.

I know some get in touch with themselves in nature and I respect that but I prefer to watch nature on TV so that when we get tired of each other, we can both do other things.

 

[GrammaJan]

Afternoon Pops and friends. You aren't alone, Jan. Everyone is going through something and you've gotten a lot of good advice from the friends here. Humor is different things to different people. My ex loved Woody Allen. Embarrassingly, I finally got one of his jokes. I'm more of a Three Stooges woman myself. One day he was in the living room watching an orchestra (snob) and I was in the bedroom howling with laughter. He finally got up to see what was so danged funny and came face to face with Larry, Moe, Curly and me.

Second Hand Lions is a really good movie. I love Trains, Planes and Automobiles. If caught in the right frame of mind, I'll laugh till it hurts. If you check out the funny image thread, funny video thread and funny meme's thread here you can find some good stuff. There's always the last few minutes of Rudy to inspire. We're here for you.

I remember when my guy and I first got Second Hand Lions (on the recommendation of a former coworker) it took us 2 days to watch it. He was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe and he got sick. Oddly, a great memory.

 

[GrammaJan]

Fairly partial doesn't cover it with me. Roughing it for me is no premium channels on the TV. My favorite alliteration? CouchCoach creature comforts create cool and calm creature.

I know some get in touch with themselves in nature and I respect that but I prefer to watch nature on TV so that when we get tired of each other, we can both do other things.

Flushing toilet and running water. That's not asking for too much, is it? I can even do without electricity, for a while , but honestly, after all the flooding the bugs here are the worst I've seen in a long while. Small patchy "swarms" of biting gnats everywhere and you can't really see them until you're right up on them or in the middle of it. And the May flies... so thick in spots. Don't they know it's almost July? I normally don't have a problem with nature. I love 'hiking' in the woods, fishing, rabbit hunting and generally being outside, but those darn bugs have really driven me indoors.

 

[CouchCoach]

Flushing toilet and running water. That's not asking for too much, is it? I can even do without electricity, for a while , but honestly, after all the flooding the bugs here are the worst I've seen in a long while. Small patchy "swarms" of biting gnats everywhere and you can't really see them until you're right up on them or in the middle of it. And the May flies... so thick in spots. Don't they know it's almost July? I normally don't have a problem with nature. I love 'hiking' in the woods, fishing, rabbit hunting and generally being outside, but those darn bugs have really driven me indoors.

Hate bugs except ladybugs, guess I am a reverse sexist? But I have made a deal with them. Don't come inside and I won't be a death dealer when I am on the patio. I find that swatting flies makes me into a mean drunk.

Friend of mine, who fashions herself as a naturalist, was trying to school me on the beneficial bugs and played the bird card, "what would the birds eat"? I told her the birds were doing a crappy job as I saw more bugs than birds and wondered if the bugs weren't eating the birds. I mean there is that bird eating spider, aptly named Bird Eating Spider. I think that species was discovered by one of the more simple minded entomologists.

Those gnats might be the noseeums from Florida, tired of all the insanity down there, and hanging out in Iowa for a vacay.

I am not ashamed to admit it, I am not a nature boy when it comes to camping or the like and I don't like camping except the smell of bacon in a cast iron frying pan but after I've eaten it, I am ready to leave.