FEATURED Morning Pops!

[Runwildboys]

Thank you, Mr. ABQ and Mr. Runny. I'll be borrowing this today. Just got up on the wrong side of the bed today.

So shove whatever his name is, (if you even know his name) and get up on the right side!

 

[Montanalo]

So shove whatever his name is, (if you even know his name) and get up on the right side!

There is a small collection of folks on this site - I'm looking at you Runny - that should consider stand-up comedy. You crack me up.

 

[Runwildboys]

There is a small collection of folks on this site - I'm looking at you Runny - that should consider stand-up comedy. You crack me up.

Thank you, sir. You're clearly a man of impeccable taste!

 

[Cowboys_22]

Morning Pops and all y'all continuing your pursuit of knowledge and wisdom in seeking out this thread. You will notice I said thread and not post, I ain't gittin' paid to edgicate no one so move along in your quest.

ABQ, if your son looks a little different tonight, oh maybe older by a few (30) years and doesn't sound like himself, pay no never mind and just put a plateful of those heavenly pork chops in front of him and I'd have everyone stand back and make sure the kiddos keep their arms and hands inside the vehicle at all times. That meal sounds so good, I might just commit a capital offense and get myself on death row for that as my last meal. I've been keep a list of annoying individuals and might be time to shorten that list.

Sad, we've been hunkered down in a war with an unseen enemy and now we get to see the feud over how and when to open up. This is how stupid this has gotten. A couple in CO opened their restaurant in defiance and admitted they were trying to make a point and had the place full of patrons without masks, no social distancing and a line wrapped around the building. That is so wrong on so many accounts when restaurant owners have been trying to survive this with following the rules. Not mention the risk to every person those people may come in contact with not to mention their employees. They shut them down and should do worse.

I am all for freedom and rights but the first right I support is the right for any person in this country not to be needlessly put at risk from the selfishness and stupidity of others. We all have rights but the right to do right by others comes first.

Be safe, my friends, and be ever vigil for the selfish and the stupid you will encounter.

I hear ya Lima Charlie, CC. The Mrs and I will be cautious until they say the virus is completely gone but I suspect even then we’ll be a on the safe side.

Good afternoon Pops and friends.

Home sweet home

 

[Ranched]

Actually, I'm the blonde in drag. Reminds me of a joke:Son: Dad, the girls all laugh at me when I wear my swim trunks because I'm so small.Dad. Stuff a pair of socks into your trunks.
An hour later:
Son: I did what you said but they are laughing even more now.Dad: Son, you have to stuff the socks in the FRONT of your suit.

Everybody, have a great week, lets work hard, do all the right things and get to the weekend. Be proud of the work you are doing everybody. Believe it or not, the work you are doing is important. Just working right now is a big deal because a lot of folks aren't. Be proud of what you are doing everyday because I am proud of all of you who are putting it out there.Stay Safe everybody!
Peace....

 

[CouchCoach]

Morning Pops and my little Humpsters. While this is officially Hump Day for 5 day a week folks, it really doesn't kick in until after lunch when the week tips into the back half. Please remember to send your condolences to the workaholics you know.

I hope this day finds you well and of good cheer. Take a moment of pause today and remember something. Oh, just anything will do, this is memorycise. You need to access that memory bank as exercise for it to keep it in shape and keep you on the ready for when you forget a password and have to answer questions about your childhood. Not only have I forgotten some details about my childhood, I forget what I put as an answer about my childhood. I am not sure I didn't make stuff up to make me sound more interesting or convince myself I had a happier childhood.

For instance, I just discovered my main bank thinks I lived at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue at the age of 6 or that my first dog was Lassie. And I glad my Mom didn't find out I have her maiden name as Rockefeller. Now, let's see the hands raised all of the fellow posters that called their grandpa by his first name. I am damned sick and tired of getting rejected because my grandpa's first name was Papaw. He was introduced to me by family members as such, so were they lying? The damned bank thinks so.

The other thing that's irritating is some web site calling my password weak. I like that word or I wouldn't have used it and it's just trying to get me to think up something that I won't be able to think up again when I need to get back into the web site, like later that day or hour.

Here's what they don't get. You reach a certain age, you don't have room to remember more without giving something up from the past. And a bunch of passwords, particularly ones with numbers, letters (upper and lower case) and signs take up too much room. I was trying to remember Mary Louise Henderson's body from the 11th grade last night and she didn't have a chest, this @!75HuRrY9! was in place of where her lovely hoobies should be.

Ok, done now, time to run outside and play.

 

[Montanalo]

Good morning Pops and fellow animal lovers,

Most of my posts tend to be light-hearted, maybe even borderline silly. This one is falls much more on the serious side.

How many of you have that one family member that, no matter how hard you try to get along, it is all for naught?

My brother and I have enjoyed, under the best of times, only a causal relationship. To be fair, the lack of a close relationship was not his fault alone, I contributed to it as well.

Since I have been retired, however, I have made a determined effort to re-engage. Multiple invitations to visit us in Colorado, suggestions for a boy's weekend, take in a Cowboy's game... My wife and I have flown to Texas several times just to meet him and his wife for evening at a restaurant.

Regardless the effort, I feel as though I am living in a "Taming the Shrew" movie -

Me - isn't nice to get together for dinner
Him - well, you waited long enough to make contact. Besides, I probably wouldn't have picked this restaurant

Me - Would you like to visit us in Colorado? Here are my recommendations for the best times to visit, depending, of course, on your interest.
Him - I see Christmas isn't on your list. I think not

Believe it or not, these are verbatim conversations.

I have never given up on anything in my life, but am ready to throw in the towel on this one.

 

[Runwildboys]

Good morning Pops and fellow animal lovers,

Most of my posts tend to be light-hearted, maybe even borderline silly. This one is falls much more on the serious side.

How many of you have that one family member that, no matter how hard you try to get along, it is all for naught?

My brother and I have enjoyed, under the best of times, only a causal relationship. To be fair, the lack of a close relationship was not his fault alone, I contributed to it as well.

Since I have been retired, however, I have made a determined effort to re-engage. Multiple invitations to visit us in Colorado, suggestions for a boy's weekend, take in a Cowboy's game... My wife and I have flown to Texas several times just to meet him and his wife for evening at a restaurant.

Regardless the effort, I feel as though I am living in a "Taming the Shrew" movie -

Me - isn't nice to get together for dinner
Him - well, you waited long enough to make contact. Besides, I probably wouldn't have picked this restaurant

Me - Would you like to visit us in Colorado? Here are my recommendations for the best times to visit, depending, of course, on your interest.
Him - I see Christmas isn't on your list. I think not

Believe it or not, these are verbatim conversations.

I have never given up on anything in my life, but am ready to throw in the towel on this one.

I wish I could give you good advice on this, but all I've got is, give him what he gives you.

 

[Montanalo]

I wish I could give you good advice on this, but all I've got is, give him what he gives you.

Thanks and FWIW, you and my wife have a very similar approach.

This morning, in her slight Russian accent, she said, "no more mister nice guy, no more PC make nice comments; tell him what you really think"

Sometimes she scares me, in a very loving sort of way.

See, I am already back to semi-normal.

 

[Runwildboys]

Thanks and FWIW, you and my wife have a very similar approach.

This morning, in her slight Russian accent, she said, "no more mister nice guy, no more PC make nice comments; tell him what you really think"

Sometimes she scares me, in a very loving sort of way.

See, I am already back to semi-normal.

Your wife sounds like a keeper.....or else!

 

[CouchCoach]

Good morning Pops and fellow animal lovers,

Most of my posts tend to be light-hearted, maybe even borderline silly. This one is falls much more on the serious side.

How many of you have that one family member that, no matter how hard you try to get along, it is all for naught?

My brother and I have enjoyed, under the best of times, only a causal relationship. To be fair, the lack of a close relationship was not his fault alone, I contributed to it as well.

Since I have been retired, however, I have made a determined effort to re-engage. Multiple invitations to visit us in Colorado, suggestions for a boy's weekend, take in a Cowboy's game... My wife and I have flown to Texas several times just to meet him and his wife for evening at a restaurant.

Regardless the effort, I feel as though I am living in a "Taming the Shrew" movie -

Me - isn't nice to get together for dinner
Him - well, you waited long enough to make contact. Besides, I probably wouldn't have picked this restaurant

Me - Would you like to visit us in Colorado? Here are my recommendations for the best times to visit, depending, of course, on your interest.
Him - I see Christmas isn't on your list. I think not

Believe it or not, these are verbatim conversations.

I have never given up on anything in my life, but am ready to throw in the towel on this one.

Colo, can't pick your family but you can pick your friends. If your brother doesn't want a relationship, that's on him. And I gotta say, if he'd given me those type responses, I would throw in the towel as well.

Life is too short to put up with family. Just because they were born doesn't mean that matters as much to us. I know close families but I know a lot more with dysfunction within them and the willingness for family members to forgive is a strange situation as well. While we would think being family should make that easier, it sometimes, has the opposite effect with the feeling it should have never happened because we are family.

That old saying blood is thicker than water applied to familial relationships is only partly true for me. The thickest blood runs through those I choose as family.

Then again if you are the one initiating this relationship, your brother could just be making this harder on you because in his mind he was righter than you. You've got to earn him back.

I have a friend that is a psychologist (No, I've never seen her professionally. I could see the wheels turning in the Pops thread, "Oh, I'm sure you know lots of them as they hand you off as a patient, sobbing and thinking of giving up the profession) and she specializes in family counseling. We've had discussions regarding one subject, the single most critical one to her profession, forgiveness. I had a steamer truck full of guilt on my back and she was aware of that and one time she just looked at me and said "until you can truly forgive yourself, you cannot truly forgive others" and that stuck with me and I cogitated on that and I believe I shared with my Pops family that after some real heart to heart with myself, gloves off, excuses forbidden, I was able to arrive at the point forgiving myself wasn't superficial.

None of my business but since you brought it here (and I am glad you feel comfortable doing that), I will offer some advice. If you truly want a relationship with your brother, a real one, you both need to address the elephant in the room, why you became estranged and most importantly, was so much damage done that forgiveness and moving forward isn't a reality? If it's going to be a just on the surface relationship, no sense in putting yourself through the frustration.

 

[Runwildboys]

Colo, can't pick your family but you can pick your friends. If your brother doesn't want a relationship, that's on him. And I gotta say, if he'd given me those type responses, I would throw in the towel as well.

Life is too short to put up with family. Just because they were born doesn't mean that matters as much to us. I know close families but I know a lot more with dysfunction within them and the willingness for family members to forgive is a strange situation as well. While we would think being family should make that easier, it sometimes, has the opposite effect with the feeling it should have never happened because we are family.

That old saying blood is thicker than water applied to familial relationships is only partly true for me. The thickest blood runs through those I choose as family.

Then again if you are the one initiating this relationship, your brother could just be making this harder on you because in his mind he was righter than you. You've got to earn him back.

I have a friend that is a psychologist (No, I've never seen her professionally. I could see the wheels turning in the Pops thread, "Oh, I'm sure you know lots of them as they hand you off as a patient, sobbing and thinking of giving up the profession) and she specializes in family counseling. We've had discussions regarding one subject, the single most critical one to her profession, forgiveness. I had a steamer truck full of guilt on my back and she was aware of that and one time she just looked at me and said "until you can truly forgive yourself, you cannot truly forgive others" and that stuck with me and I cogitated on that and I believe I shared with my Pops family that after some real heart to heart with myself, gloves off, excuses forbidden, I was able to arrive at the point forgiving myself wasn't superficial.

None of my business but since you brought it here (and I am glad you feel comfortable doing that), I will offer some advice. If you truly want a relationship with your brother, a real one, you both need to address the elephant in the room, why you became estranged and most importantly, was so much damage done that forgiveness and moving forward isn't a reality? If it's going to be a just on the surface relationship, no sense in putting yourself through the frustration.

I think part of the reason some families have a hard time forgiving is as you said, plus the fact that they always feel like there's plenty of time left.

I have a family of cousins in Jersey, and you can't even ask one how any of the others are doing, because you never know which one or ones they're not speaking to. I don't get it, especially since their mother is my mother's sister. It seems like they'd be similar to our family. Though at least none of them hate any of us.

 

[Montanalo]

Colo, can't pick your family but you can pick your friends. If your brother doesn't want a relationship, that's on him. And I gotta say, if he'd given me those type responses, I would throw in the towel as well.

Life is too short to put up with family. Just because they were born doesn't mean that matters as much to us. I know close families but I know a lot more with dysfunction within them and the willingness for family members to forgive is a strange situation as well. While we would think being family should make that easier, it sometimes, has the opposite effect with the feeling it should have never happened because we are family.

That old saying blood is thicker than water applied to familial relationships is only partly true for me. The thickest blood runs through those I choose as family.

Then again if you are the one initiating this relationship, your brother could just be making this harder on you because in his mind he was righter than you. You've got to earn him back.

I have a friend that is a psychologist (No, I've never seen her professionally. I could see the wheels turning in the Pops thread, "Oh, I'm sure you know lots of them as they hand you off as a patient, sobbing and thinking of giving up the profession) and she specializes in family counseling. We've had discussions regarding one subject, the single most critical one to her profession, forgiveness. I had a steamer truck full of guilt on my back and she was aware of that and one time she just looked at me and said "until you can truly forgive yourself, you cannot truly forgive others" and that stuck with me and I cogitated on that and I believe I shared with my Pops family that after some real heart to heart with myself, gloves off, excuses forbidden, I was able to arrive at the point forgiving myself wasn't superficial.

None of my business but since you brought it here (and I am glad you feel comfortable doing that), I will offer some advice. If you truly want a relationship with your brother, a real one, you both need to address the elephant in the room, why you became estranged and most importantly, was so much damage done that forgiveness and moving forward isn't a reality? If it's going to be a just on the surface relationship, no sense in putting yourself through the frustration.

Thanks, Coach.

Through out my career, I was trained in all sorts of media communications, conflict resolution, along with the normal sort of management HR training.

At point, I tried several of these techniques that had worked in other situations - I know, big mistake with family. Anyway, he stopped me and said very carefully and slowly, "Don't you try your management tricks on me". I was caught and actually had to laugh.

 

[Montanalo]

I think part of the reason some families have a hard time forgiving is as you said, plus the fact that they always feel like there's plenty of time left.

I have a family of cousins in Jersey, and you can't even ask one how any of the others are doing, because you never know which one or ones they're not speaking to. I don't get it, especially since their mother is my mother's sister. It seems like they'd be similar to our family. Though at least none of them hate any of us.

Thanks

 

[CouchCoach]

I'll share with y'all something I learned and way too late in life. Not everyone is going to like me. I know, sounds like a revelation but when I discovered someone didn't like me, I owned that as my problem and felt I needed to try and make them like me. What they thought about me mattered.

I also transferred that to being the funny guy. If someone wasn't laughing when I was trying to be funny, that became my objective and my wife got a kick out of it.

At some point, and I believe this happened in high school, I measured myself through others' eyes. I dated girls that were hot and didn't even like them because what other people thought of me was my driving force. If I wasn't in the in crowd and popular, I was a total failure. Even if that meant becoming something I detested, a phony.

Two things happened to me on the way to growing up, still not quite there yet. One, I took my salespeople through a training course with a good facilitator who had access to some recent sales research into the psychology of selling. This might have been simple to others but to me, this opened my eyes unlike anything I'd seen before and was life changing. This was only about 20 years ago and my wife was one of those salespeople. The research was called the Theory of 10 and simply stated that for every 10 strangers you will meet, 3 will like you right off and can't really nail down why and 3 will not like you and can't always nail down why and 4 will be undecided. The sales application of this is simple, don't spend your time on those 3 that don't like you because most can't even tell you in what way you can change to make them like you but many people will do that because it's a challenge. Spend your time on the 4 and try to convert 50% into liking you and you're magic, 50% of the prospects you will call on have a propensity to do business with you and anyone in sales will tell you that's terrific odds.

I mentioned my wife was in there and when this came up, I could feel her eyes on me and later that evening she grabbed a bottle of wine and asked me to join her on the patio. I had a feeling what was about to happen and it did. She looked me right in the eyes and began to tell me that I'd spent enough time looking at myself through the eyes of people that didn't like me and it was for their own reasons, might have nothing to do with me. Then she said "stop trying to make people laugh or like you that don't and spend time on that larger group and make them laugh more". And I began to look at myself and those around me differently than I had in my life.

This probably doesn't apply to Colo's situation with his brother but it hit a note with me and you know me, I like to share the things I learned way too late in life. The change for me was I still cared, still wanted people to like me but if they didn't, I accepted that because I knew there were other people that did. They are the ones that really matter.

Never give anyone that doesn't like you any power in your life.

 

[Ranched]

 

[Cowboys_22]

Good morning Pops and fellow animal lovers,

Most of my posts tend to be light-hearted, maybe even borderline silly. This one is falls much more on the serious side.

How many of you have that one family member that, no matter how hard you try to get along, it is all for naught?

My brother and I have enjoyed, under the best of times, only a causal relationship. To be fair, the lack of a close relationship was not his fault alone, I contributed to it as well.

Since I have been retired, however, I have made a determined effort to re-engage. Multiple invitations to visit us in Colorado, suggestions for a boy's weekend, take in a Cowboy's game... My wife and I have flown to Texas several times just to meet him and his wife for evening at a restaurant.

Regardless the effort, I feel as though I am living in a "Taming the Shrew" movie -

Me - isn't nice to get together for dinner
Him - well, you waited long enough to make contact. Besides, I probably wouldn't have picked this restaurant

Me - Would you like to visit us in Colorado? Here are my recommendations for the best times to visit, depending, of course, on your interest.
Him - I see Christmas isn't on your list. I think not

Believe it or not, these are verbatim conversations.

I have never given up on anything in my life, but am ready to throw in the towel on this one.

Good afternoon Pops and friends.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath”. Quoting the Good Book of course. It’s best to take the high road imo.
The elephant in the room might be the time you beat him at marbles. Buy him a bag of marbles, tell him you cheated (even if you didn’t) and that you feel guilty about it.

When a close friend or family member passes away, you think about the last conversation you had with that person. Make it a good one, even if the conversation is only good on your side. My 2 cents.

Home sweet home. The Mrs and I are going out for our 3 miles. She beats me bad

 

[LeonDixson]

Morning, Pops and pen pals. Colo, It's sad your brother feels the way he does. I applaud you for making the attempts you have made. I won't give you any advice, but having had a difficult brother myself, I know how you're feeling.

If self-awareness is a good thing, this pandemic has been educational for me. After nine weeks of isolation with my wife we've covered in detail every single thing I've done wrong in the last 50 years of marriage. I kid. She's not like that at all. Have a good day, everyone, and smile a lot. You'll feel better.

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Morning Pops. Morning Fellas and good morning to everybody who stopped in to check out the thread today.

Well, we are at Thursday and I can see the light to the weekend!

How is everybody doing today? Looks like I missed a lot yesterday.

Lots going on today. Have some Cisco Training I need to knock out today. Worked on that yesterday as well. Would like to finish it up by Friday as I don't want to spend my weekend doing Cisco Certs.

Jobs, Leon, dbrp, Xelda, zrin, Trouty, ksk, RGV, Coach, RWB, Ranching, SW, John, Jan, Corso and Colo, I hope all of you are enjoying a great day.

Everybody, please have a wonderful day. I am betting on all of you!

Peace!

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Good morning Pops and fellow animal lovers,

Most of my posts tend to be light-hearted, maybe even borderline silly. This one is falls much more on the serious side.

How many of you have that one family member that, no matter how hard you try to get along, it is all for naught?

My brother and I have enjoyed, under the best of times, only a causal relationship. To be fair, the lack of a close relationship was not his fault alone, I contributed to it as well.

Since I have been retired, however, I have made a determined effort to re-engage. Multiple invitations to visit us in Colorado, suggestions for a boy's weekend, take in a Cowboy's game... My wife and I have flown to Texas several times just to meet him and his wife for evening at a restaurant.

Regardless the effort, I feel as though I am living in a "Taming the Shrew" movie -

Me - isn't nice to get together for dinner
Him - well, you waited long enough to make contact. Besides, I probably wouldn't have picked this restaurant

Me - Would you like to visit us in Colorado? Here are my recommendations for the best times to visit, depending, of course, on your interest.
Him - I see Christmas isn't on your list. I think not

Believe it or not, these are verbatim conversations.

I have never given up on anything in my life, but am ready to throw in the towel on this one.

Well, this is a tough one Colo, not gonna lie. I mean, I get it, I really do. Sometimes you just can't win but here's the thing and I almost always try and boil it all down to this in these kinds of situations. Ask yourself, "What Can I Live With?"

Some day, either you or he will be gone. That's just life. When that day comes, can you live with what your decision brings you? When you can never go back and fix it, can you live with what the final results end up being? If the answer is yes, then go forward and do what you have to do. If you can't, and you feel like it will cause you grief in your life, then go another way.

End of day, this is between you and you because you will have to live with the consequences of the decision you make Brother.

You'll do the right thing here. I believe in you.