FEATURED Morning Pops!

[CouchCoach]

Morning Pops. Morning Fellas and good morning to everybody who stopped in to check out the thread today.

Well, we are at Thursday and I can see the light to the weekend!

How is everybody doing today? Looks like I missed a lot yesterday.

Lots going on today. Have some Cisco Training I need to knock out today. Worked on that yesterday as well. Would like to finish it up by Friday as I don't want to spend my weekend doing Cisco Certs.

Jobs, Leon, dbrp, Xelda, zrin, Trouty, ksk, RGV, Coach, RWB, Ranching, SW, John, Jan, Corso and Colo, I hope all of you are enjoying a great day.

Everybody, please have a wonderful day. I am betting on all of you!

Peace!

Awwwww Cisco. Awwwwww Poncho. Training over.

 

[CouchCoach]

Top o the afternoon Pops and those in post Hump Day euphoria awaiting the best weekday of the week.

The landscape guys are changing out the flowers around the fountain at the roundabout, which is what they call a traffic circle here so when I say it, I use an Australian accent and add mate to that for authenticity, which is lost on these rednecks calling it a roundabout.

Anyway, I like to watch them work, makes me feel like I've done something and I then take a stroll over and admire my watching of the handiwork. I stand there like I own it and greet any passers by with "isn't it a lovely roundabout, mate?" Funny, seems like ever since I started doing that, there are fewer passers by each time. This time, I'll have the virus to blame it on.

It's Thirsty Thursday and I think a cucumber vodka tonic, relaxing on the veranda, after a long day of watching people work is just the ticket.

 

[Montanalo]

Well, this is a tough one Colo, not gonna lie. I mean, I get it, I really do. Sometimes you just can't win but here's the thing and I almost always try and boil it all down to this in these kinds of situations. Ask yourself, "What Can I Live With?"

Some day, either you or he will be gone. That's just life. When that day comes, can you live with what your decision brings you? When you can never go back and fix it, can you live with what the final results end up being? If the answer is yes, then go forward and do what you have to do. If you can't, and you feel like it will cause you grief in your life, then go another way.

End of day, this is between you and you because you will have to live with the consequences of the decision you make Brother.

You'll do the right thing here. I believe in you.

Thanks, @ABQCOWBOY. I have decided to stop reaching out to repair the relationship. I am not happy with this outcome but can peacefully live with the decision. The door will always be open and a place will always be available at our table...

 

[Cowboys_22]

Awwwww Cisco. Awwwwww Poncho. Training over.

Cisco Kid was a friend of mine and so was Poncho

 

[Runwildboys]

I'll share with y'all something I learned and way too late in life. Not everyone is going to like me. I know, sounds like a revelation but when I discovered someone didn't like me, I owned that as my problem and felt I needed to try and make them like me. What they thought about me mattered.

I also transferred that to being the funny guy. If someone wasn't laughing when I was trying to be funny, that became my objective and my wife got a kick out of it.

At some point, and I believe this happened in high school, I measured myself through others' eyes. I dated girls that were hot and didn't even like them because what other people thought of me was my driving force. If I wasn't in the in crowd and popular, I was a total failure. Even if that meant becoming something I detested, a phony.

Two things happened to me on the way to growing up, still not quite there yet. One, I took my salespeople through a training course with a good facilitator who had access to some recent sales research into the psychology of selling. This might have been simple to others but to me, this opened my eyes unlike anything I'd seen before and was life changing. This was only about 20 years ago and my wife was one of those salespeople. The research was called the Theory of 10 and simply stated that for every 10 strangers you will meet, 3 will like you right off and can't really nail down why and 3 will not like you and can't always nail down why and 4 will be undecided. The sales application of this is simple, don't spend your time on those 3 that don't like you because most can't even tell you in what way you can change to make them like you but many people will do that because it's a challenge. Spend your time on the 4 and try to convert 50% into liking you and you're magic, 50% of the prospects you will call on have a propensity to do business with you and anyone in sales will tell you that's terrific odds.

I mentioned my wife was in there and when this came up, I could feel her eyes on me and later that evening she grabbed a bottle of wine and asked me to join her on the patio. I had a feeling what was about to happen and it did. She looked me right in the eyes and began to tell me that I'd spent enough time looking at myself through the eyes of people that didn't like me and it was for their own reasons, might have nothing to do with me. Then she said "stop trying to make people laugh or like you that don't and spend time on that larger group and make them laugh more". And I began to look at myself and those around me differently than I had in my life.

This probably doesn't apply to Colo's situation with his brother but it hit a note with me and you know me, I like to share the things I learned way too late in life. The change for me was I still cared, still wanted people to like me but if they didn't, I accepted that because I knew there were other people that did. They are the ones that really matter.

Never give anyone that doesn't like you any power in your life.

Wow, it sounds rough meeting people who don't like you!

 

[Runwildboys]

Thanks, @ABQCOWBOY. I have decided to stop reaching out to repair the relationship. I am not happy with this outcome but can peacefully live with the decision. The door will always be open and a place will always be available at our table...

I'd suggest never giving him the excuse that it was you who stopped trying. I don't mean to say you should bend over backward, just never stop wishing him well on holidays and birthdays, with an invitation to get together.

Have you ever actually asked him why he pushes you away?

 

[Runwildboys]

Cisco Kid was a friend of mine and so was Poncho

Oh, so what's Lefty?...Chopped liver?

 

[Cowboys_22]

Oh, so what's Lefty?...Chopped liver?

Lefty is my brother . When we were kids, he would always surprise me with that left but I had a good counter

 

[Ranched]

 

[LeonDixson]

Morning, Pops and pen pals. Happy Friday.

 

[GrammaJan]

Morning Pops and everyone.

TGIF indeed! Horrible week at work. 'Nuf said about that.

Funny thing about that pic DABZ? That tub is almost exactly like mine. No pink, the hardware is on the other side and that seat on the left doesnt exist, but dang you about got it (and nice try but that's not me lol).

Today marks one month since I closed on my house. Two days ago I finally got the last storage tub unpacked. The main level rooms are pretty much arranged the way I want them. Next I get to start on the lower level where the summer kitchen, "Jan Cave" and the craft room are. I'll probably pick up some patio furniture later this summer for the rear patio and small side patio. Sooner than that I'll need to get some pieces for the front porch. Gonna take a little bit but I'll get there.

I've only had to mow the grass once since I've been here. It's growing like crazy but every week someone has been showing up and mowing while I'm at work. I certainly appreciate it but everyone I've asked denies they have anything to do with it. I'll just enjoy it while it lasts.

Sorry. I'm rambling. One last thing... besides it being Friday and payday MY SALON GETS TO REOPEN TODAY AND I'M SCHEDULED FOR 8AM. Finally! My hair is usually worn short and a little spikey-ish (found since chemo I like it better this way - used to have a 14-inch braid down the back, which I donated before chemo). Anywaaaay, I've been anxiously waiting for today. (Going in late to work just to get this done. I have my priorities after all.)

Hopefully you all have a wonderful day and a great weekend.

 

[CouchCoach]

Wow, it sounds rough meeting people who don't like you!

Actually, since I have accepted the Theory of 10, it's great. Get through those 3 and onto the 7 to invest the time.

Those people that don't and aren't going to like me? They're out there, at least 100M of them according to the population of the US but I don't plan on meeting them all. People in WIS are stupid and ugly, I am going to assume the entire population doesn't like me. I would have had CT on that list too but then I met you.

 

[Montanalo]

Have you ever actually asked him why he pushes you away?

Good question and, yes I have ask the questions: what is stopping us from having a better relationship and what are the issues standing between us?

Among other things, his responses went something like, "well, in high school, you never included me in your group of friends". Mind you, high school was 45 years ago and I was a senior when was a freshman. From there, we graduated to a long list of perceived grievances spanning nearly 5 decades. I felt as though I had been tax audited.

While I listened without interupting for more than an hour, I kept thinking how could someone hold on to such bitterness for so many years. When he stopped, I asked, "how would you like to proceed from here?". To which he replied, "haven't you been listening to anything I said?"

Sometime ago, I spoke to his ex-wife about my brother. Her basic answer was that he is supremely jealous of my financial and professional success and, more that anything else, fundamentally jealous that I am happy. Not doubt she might be a bit biased.

Look, sorry I went on and on and on.

Thanks for "listening"

 

[CouchCoach]

Good question and, yes I have ask the questions: what is stopping us from having a better relationship and what are the issues standing between us?

Among other things, his responses went something like, "well, in high school, you never included me in your group of friends". Mind you, high school was 45 years ago and I was a senior when was a freshman. From there, we graduated to a long list of perceived grievances spanning nearly 5 decades. I felt as though I had been tax audited.

While I listened without interupting for more than an hour, I kept thinking how could someone hold on to such bitterness for so many years. When he stopped, I asked, "how would you like to proceed from here?". To which he replied, "haven't you been listening to anything I said?"

Sometime ago, I spoke to his ex-wife about my brother. Her basic answer was that he is supremely jealous of my financial and professional success and, more that anything else, fundamentally jealous that I am happy. Not doubt she might be a bit biased.

Look, sorry I went on and on and on.

Thanks for "listening"

Please stop this going on and on stuff, why would anyone do that?

The Smothers Brothers built an entire act around sibling rivalry and it's a real thing. My sons are 8 years apart and it exists and will show itself at the most inopportune times.

Colo, sounds like your brother is just an unhappy person and if it's one thing unhappy people don't like, it's happy people. Unhappy people find blame and excuses are their two best friends. And nothing like a successful family member to light that fire.

It also sounds like your brother is comfortable having you to blame for the relationship and litany of events going back through history. He doesn't want to give that up because then he will have to face himself. And believe me, if an unhappy one lives long enough they will have to face that self they've been selling all the excuses and lies to and that's the hardest one will ever slap themselves in the face.

You asked your brother how he wanted you to proceed and his response was your answer. He doesn't, he wants to keep blaming you, You're like Rocky when Pauly yells at him "you've been keeping me down". He loves Rocky and at the same time uses him as his excuse for not being more.

Sorry for butting in here with my dime store psychology but I've been working with the most conflicted and confusing patient for the last 10 years and he's the poster child for "if only I'd known then what I refused to hear then".

All you can do is stand by and let your brother know you love him and if he ever needs you, you will still be there. And it sounds like he has to slap himself before he's going to need you. That's another trait of unhappy people, they push away what they need most.

 

[Ranched]

Morning Pops and everyone.
Funny thing about that pic DABZ? That tub is almost exactly like mine. No pink, the hardware is on the other side and that seat on the left doesnt exist, but dang you about got it (and nice try but that's not me lol).

LOL.
Give me time!

 

[Runwildboys]

Good question and, yes I have ask the questions: what is stopping us from having a better relationship and what are the issues standing between us?

Among other things, his responses went something like, "well, in high school, you never included me in your group of friends". Mind you, high school was 45 years ago and I was a senior when was a freshman. From there, we graduated to a long list of perceived grievances spanning nearly 5 decades. I felt as though I had been tax audited.

While I listened without interupting for more than an hour, I kept thinking how could someone hold on to such bitterness for so many years. When he stopped, I asked, "how would you like to proceed from here?". To which he replied, "haven't you been listening to anything I said?"

Sometime ago, I spoke to his ex-wife about my brother. Her basic answer was that he is supremely jealous of my financial and professional success and, more that anything else, fundamentally jealous that I am happy. Not doubt she might be a bit biased.

Look, sorry I went on and on and on.

Thanks for "listening"

Colo, it seems like he looked up to you, and everything you did that didn't include him served to deepen his feeling that you didn't care about him, or that you didn't like having him around. Now it's at the point that he needs you to always show him that you love him, not just tell him. Anything else you do will be a setback, and convince him he was right and you can't be trusted....at least until he's been assured enough times to consider that maybe he's seeing things with a bias.

I suggest you go out...just the two of you...maybe go camping or something for a weekend, get drunk and talk.

Also, if he tells you how he feels and you respond in a way that seems like his feelings are a burden to you, you'll be reenforcing his beliefs that you don't care, regardless of your words.

But as Dennis Miller used to say, "That's just my opinion, I could be wrong."

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Morning Pops. Morning Fellas and good morning to all who decided to stop in today and visit the thread.

TGIF! I still have some stuff to get done on the Cisco Cert Testing so looks like I will be putting in some work this weekend after all. C'est La Vie.........

Jan, sorry to hear the work week didn't go so well. Hopefully, next week is better!

Colo, sounds like a lot of old stuff going on with your Brother. You can't fix everything. Sometimes, all you can do is just walk on I guess. Hang in there Brother!

Jobs, Leon, dbrp, Xelda, zrin, Trouty, ksk, RGV, Coach, RWB, Ranching, SW, John, Jan, Corso and Colo, I hope you are all doing well today! Looking forward to spending some time with the kids and the Wife this weekend. We didn't really celebrate Mother's Day the way we should have so our plan is to have a Mother's Day celebration this Sat. Kids, Grandbabies and of course, Maw and Paw Kettle will be in attendance. Gonna smoke a Briskett tonight and I guess I'll make up some Wing Suace and grill up some Wings to go with that.

Everybody, Happy Friday! I hope you all have a great weekend! You've earned it!

Gonna roll back the years here a little bit and leave you guys with an old Bangles vid from American Bandstand. I actually saw this posted previously by one of the other members of the board. Might have actually been ksk, can't remember. Anyhow, I watched and it kinda took me back to the mid 80s. I tried to remember where I was when this was going on and decided I would post it. Without further ado........

The Bangles - American Bandstand 1986

 

[LeonDixson]

Morning, Pops and friends. Welcome to the Weekend! The coffee tastes extra good this morning. I guess my taste buds are just in more oa mood for coffee than usual. I always start the morning with a 20 oz .glass of water just to get the insides lubricated. It also heightens the anticipation of that first sip of coffee. Mmmm good!

My buddy and I are going to play golf later this morning if it doesn't rain. The forecast isn't looking good right now. Y'all have a good weekend.

 

[Runwildboys]

Morning Pops and Saturday sleepinners!

Been watching a bunch of SciManDan's Flat Earth Fridays, on YouTube. If you're ever feeling bad about yourself, check it out. You'll be so happy you're not one of those idiots, it'll make your whole day brighter...Of course, if you're like me, you'll get frustrated while you're watching those morons try to disprove the globe and deny gravity, the moon landing, space, and a multitude of other real life facts, all while disdainfully insulting those of us who live in reality. So it's aggravating, but satisfying nonetheless...like golf.

So @LeonDixson , if the weather keeps you of the links, you can get your fix at home.

 

[CouchCoach]

Happy Saturday Pops and weekenders. Had one whale of a storm through here last night and through the night, the lightning was exceptional and the back yard is a mess with debris. That does give me a project because I can't enjoy my hedonism on the patio and just look at the carnage. I just hope cleaning it up doesn't spur me to other around the house activities and I ruin a reputation I've spent years building. I think I hold the record for married man with the fewest checks in the done box on his Honey Do list.