Morning Pops!

Discussion in 'Members Zone' started by Sarge, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Moderator

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    Alrighty then, time to lose my sense of humor. Everything was just fine until the missing pork chops.

    Bobhaze shows up, pork chops go missing. Coincidence? Maybe, but fool me once, fool me forever. A fool and his mind are soon parted. And speaking of parted, and I was, that was the tricky part when I began shearing my locks and going baby head as I came into this world, where to carve the part in my head?

    Oh, I see by the light of the shimmering moon, it's Wine :30. Doc said "you can continue your normal life when you feel like it". He should have asked what I consider normal. Everything, my friends, in moderation except normal and get real ab on that!
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2021
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  2. LeonDixson

    LeonDixson Illegitimi non carborundum

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    Well said, ABQ. Weldon would be proud of you. Of course, I'd have to tell him not to give you a big head.
     
  3. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Regular Joe....

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    Morning Leon, how you been?

    Morning Pops, morning Jobs. Morning Fellas and good morning to all who stop in to check out the thread.

    Lots of stuff going on today, got my work cut out for me. So I'll just say good morning and get to it.

    Here's one to start the day off with. This is the Doobie Brothers and their 1973 hit, China Grove. Hope you enjoy.

     
  4. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Regular Joe....

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    Speaking of Pork Chops Xelda, the Wife made some last night with Carne Adovada, Beans and ham hawks, Fried Potatoes with Red Chile and some Corn Bread. I just mix the Carne and Red Chile and then pour that over a hunk of Corn Bread and it's pretty Damn good. Needless to say, I was early to the table last night!

    :laugh:
     
  5. Xelda

    Xelda Zone Supporter

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    Good morning Pops and Popsadoodles.
    That woman is a miracle worker in the kitchen.
     
  6. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Regular Joe....

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    I used to have a buddy that I also used to work with. He used to say that she is going straight to heaven. i asked him why and he said, because she has had to deal with you for all these years.

    Amazingly, that answer came as no shock to me.

    ;)
     
  7. Runwildboys

    Runwildboys Zone Supporter

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    It's ham "hawks"?...I always assumed it was "hocks".
     
  8. LeonDixson

    LeonDixson Illegitimi non carborundum

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    If I was any better, I'd drop my harp right through the clouds.
     
  9. GrammaJan

    GrammaJan Well-Known Member

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    That sounds ominous
     
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  10. Xelda

    Xelda Zone Supporter

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    Come to thin k of it, that didn't sound right. Leon splain yourself!
     
  11. Runwildboys

    Runwildboys Zone Supporter

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    I bet he's right above me.
     
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  12. ColoCowboy

    ColoCowboy Well-Known Member

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    Good morning Pops and Friends,

    What a glorious start to the morning - it's 48 F and most of the smoke associated with the forest fires has cleared leaving great views of the mountains.

    On Wednesday, I traveled with the grand kids to New Orleans to return them to their mother. One long day of travel turned into two full days after missing every single connecting flight. Thunderstorms around Denver caused major disruptions. There is nothing quite like spending hours at the United customer service counter with two tired and hungry kids.

    Other than that, we had a great time. The highlight was white water rafting on the Flathead River. At one point, we reached a rather calm pool and the guide said we could jump in for a swim. The 10 year old boy was in the water before hearing the guide advise, "The water is 55-60 F". Needless to say, he climbed out of the water into the raft just as fast as he jumped in.

    I am ready for a quiet weekend -- what about you?
     
  13. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Moderator

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    My weekends are only as noisy as I want them. I am not at 100% howling at the moon yet and that's a shame as we have the Buck Moon coming starting tonight and that's always a good howler.
     
  14. ABQCOWBOY

    ABQCOWBOY Regular Joe....

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    Hahaha... Yep, you are right, it is hocks but you know what, I don't care about my illiteracy much. When the beans and the hawks are in the bowl, they still taste pretty damn good Brother!

    ;)
     
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  15. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Moderator

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    Morning Pops and all y'all. I hope you are are well and doing well as well.

    Well, I am officially pissed now. I was told the pathology would take 5-7 business days and today is the 8th day because I cut the pathologist some slack and didn't count day of surgery as one for several reasons. First, the surgery was late starting as I seemed to be the only one prepared at the prescribed time. Secondly, they added another ERCP taking it from a 1.5 hour procedure to a 2.5 hour one so they could shave parts of my body while I was wherever the hell we go when under anesthesia. But thirdly is the real gift I gave the pathologist as I gave him credit for being like me. I gave him understandable and forgivable faults.

    I assumed he had that 3rd martini at lunch, became a little tipsy and like me when martini 3 strikes, got in an amorous mood and decided to stop by the house to see what the wife was doing, found that she was in a negligee and rushed into his arms and he lost track of time. Upon arriving back at the hospital, decided it was too late to start a new process and decided to start the count on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. I actually never met the pathologist but he is friends with my surgeon, Dr. Frazee, so I liked him through that 2nd degree of separation but I was wrong!

    When he arrived home, he didn't stop to ask himself "why is my wife in a negligee at 1:30 in the afternoon and why did she rush into my arms so quickly and want to make love in the foyer'? I'd tell him why! His old buddy, Dr. Frazee, was in the closet and the wife diverted his attention so he could make a back door exit. Dr. Frazee went straight from messin' with a messy gall bladder to messin' with the pathologist's wife. He suspects something and is holding up my report as payback. "You're sleeping with my wife and I am not giving you this report on time just because of that!!!!", I can hear him yelling through the tears and heartbreak. If this guy knows what's good for him, he'd better give me my damned report or I'll wreck his pretend life in my mind.

    I've got my follow up on Monday with the surgeon and I need to ask him one question that has been puzzling me since that first ERCP. Why are they shaving parts of my body while I am out and what the hell is this tar like stuff on me that will not come off? This last time, I had bruises on the back of both of my arms and my upper chest and all arm pit foliage was gone, just gone! Is that tar a remnant of them tarring and feathering me, taking pics and they forget to get all the tar off? Do they play some kind of weird OR trivia game where if they guess right, they get to shave parts of the patient? The nurse shaved my abdomen for the surgery but made no mention that others might decide to take some more body hair. Do they have some huge hair ball hidden within the bowels of the hospital and they just keep adding to it?

    I got home and the second night I was home, I raised my arm and saw it, mine looked like my wife's underarms. I raised the other and same thing, not a hair in sight and my chest was shaved (and I didn't fail to notice I have rather nice breasts for a man of my age) and came to the only conclusion I could come up with, they are methodically and slowly transgendering me. This is all a ruse, my gall bladder was fine, they want to turn me into a woman!!

    Little do they know what they would be creating, Slutzilla! I would be a terrible woman. One drink and I'm ready to do a mattress angel and you know me, when don't I have one drink in me? I'd get kicked out of CVS, HEB and Walmart and I gotta say any woman that gets kicked out of Walmart for slutting it up has pretty much set a new standard. And that would be my goal!!!!! You see?? Terrible woman!

    Ok, see what happens when deadlines aren't met? I was fine, have you fine folks to testify to that, well, fine for me anyway. I was damned near normal but that 5-7 day clock rolled over and this is what I become. This is one of those situations that I do fill in the unknown because that's my defense mechanism when the news could be bad.

    My greatest fear is not for me but for my sons, they cannot lose both parents to the monster and wait for it to come for them.

    I still have hope that I will go being shot by a jealous, and much younger, husband going out the bedroom window. However, it is beginning to look like I will go out as a lesbian.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2021
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  16. ColoCowboy

    ColoCowboy Well-Known Member

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    I desperately want to comment, but really don't know where to start.

    Salud, brother!

    :muttley:
     
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  17. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Moderator

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    Just jump in anywhere, amigo.
     
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  18. Runwildboys

    Runwildboys Zone Supporter

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    I wasn't correcting you, FYI. I literally didn't know. I've never had ham.....hox.
     
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  19. Runwildboys

    Runwildboys Zone Supporter

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    Has it been 8 business days? I realize the hospital is open every day, but that department may not work every day, so maybe they only count the days they actually work...or maybe they hand draw the pictures, and they ran out of bile colored crayons.
     
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  20. CouchCoach

    CouchCoach Moderator

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    It is hocks. I am a Southren Gentleman and speak the language. If it weren't for cussing, Southren would be my second language.
     
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