FEATURED Morning Pops!

[CouchCoach]

Morning Pops and all y'all. The roller coaster ride continues.

My son is picking me up for the trek to Lakeway, again but hopefully for the last time, to have this stent removed and I am nervous as hell about it. I've been told that's allowing the bile duct to drain and if that starts building Bilirubin back up in my body, I don't think I can handle that again. When they pushed this up, they thought I would be getting this next operation sooner but that can't happen before September 9 now because the robotics room in Austin isn't available until then. C3PO is but not the machine.

They are also doing a Spyglass procedure for the Oncology Surgeon to better decide how to cut me open. There is a possibility that he will have to do a much larger incision and make the hospital stay longer as well as recovery time. With how everything about this has gone so far, I am expecting the worst case scenario. He is also taking biopsies from the neighboring organs, not at the messy stage at this time.

I spoke with the Oncology Surgeon on Monday and I really like this guy a lot and he has a cool name and a great laugh. His name is Declan Fleming and I dubbed him Declan, 008, Brother of Ian. I could not believe the man has lived with that name for that long and no one ever did that before. Then again, only an idiot would risk pissing off a man about to slice him open and go poking around his innards.

Add another Doc to the list of maligning my absent gall bladder. I had no idea the word "messy" had become a clinician's technical jargon, what's next "icky'? Or gross? "Ewwwwww, your gall bladder was all icky and gross and I didn't want to touch it so I left it in".

The good news in all of this is that he agrees with the pathology board that this messy gall bladder did save my life and there is no doubt in his mind that this was headed to be the exact same cancer that took my wife. He said he's never even heard of a cancer this rare infecting non blood relatives.

Along with the biopsies and because this is taking place at UT, they will be getting on the spot pathology reports on everything and he's already prepared me that he may have to remove the entire bile duct and move the intestines up and he has performed this many times, which is why I was referred to a specialty surgeon. That does not come without it's own problems.

I'll be candid, I am fighting one of the deepest depressions I have ever been in and having a hard time seeing anything but the inside of the dark cloud and that does not represent death, it represents something far worse to me, life wishing for death. I am hoping getting this ERCP today out of the way will help but then I know I will go on "eyes and skin watch" because I know what follows when that starts to turn yellow. And my depression is manifesting itself in anger as it has the tendency to do.

My friends, I hate to complain because I should be thankful that this was discovered in time and I do not have to have that conversation with family and friends but that's not how my brain works, I wish it did. I have to let this run it's course and purge a little of that here, the only place I really can. My older son is the only one that knows anything and only because he has to be my driver for all of this.

As usual, I thank you for allowing me to purge here and the fact that you are thinking of me and care about me provides me with great comfort. I am just wallowing in a healthy dose of self pity and playing one of my "why me, O lord" cards. I don't know why I do that, always get the same response, "why not you"?

I am just waiting. Not really sure what I am waiting for but I do try to shake this everything has just gone wrong from the first day of the symptoms showing up because that shades my expectations for what I am waiting for. The doctors have all been positive.....and wrong every time so far so I have no reason to think the news I will be getting on the 9th will be any different. And I have that pathology board's disagreement on what this is and what stage it is in to feed my penchant for filling in the unknown.

Well, at least I get the fun of waking up this afternoon and finding out what parts of my body they shaved this time. Damnedest thing I've seen, it's like the nurses are all part of some weird Amish hair quilting cult. I am becoming "Patchwork Man". One more procedure like this and I will be "Hairless Chihuahua Man". I would use one of those hairless cat comparisons but they scare the bejeezus out of me. However, I might be a hot commodity for the Septuagenarian Sisters of Sex club here.

Sorry for going on so long but I am trying to deal my sense of dread away.

 

[GrammaJan]

Morning Pops and all y'all. The roller coaster ride continues.

My son is picking me up for the trek to Lakeway, again but hopefully for the last time, to have this stent removed and I am nervous as hell about it. I've been told that's allowing the bile duct to drain and if that starts building Bilirubin back up in my body, I don't think I can handle that again. When they pushed this up, they thought I would be getting this next operation sooner but that can't happen before September 9 now because the robotics room in Austin isn't available until then. C3PO is but not the machine.

They are also doing a Spyglass procedure for the Oncology Surgeon to better decide how to cut me open. There is a possibility that he will have to do a much larger incision and make the hospital stay longer as well as recovery time. With how everything about this has gone so far, I am expecting the worst case scenario. He is also taking biopsies from the neighboring organs, not at the messy stage at this time.

I spoke with the Oncology Surgeon on Monday and I really like this guy a lot and he has a cool name and a great laugh. His name is Declan Fleming and I dubbed him Declan, 008, Brother of Ian. I could not believe the man has lived with that name for that long and no one ever did that before. Then again, only an idiot would risk pissing off a man about to slice him open and go poking around his innards.

Add another Doc to the list of maligning my absent gall bladder. I had no idea the word "messy" had become a clinician's technical jargon, what's next "icky'? Or gross? "Ewwwwww, your gall bladder was all icky and gross and I didn't want to touch it so I left it in".

The good news in all of this is that he agrees with the pathology board that this messy gall bladder did save my life and there is no doubt in his mind that this was headed to be the exact same cancer that took my wife. He said he's never even heard of a cancer this rare infecting non blood relatives.

Along with the biopsies and because this is taking place at UT, they will be getting on the spot pathology reports on everything and he's already prepared me that he may have to remove the entire bile duct and move the intestines up and he has performed this many times, which is why I was referred to a specialty surgeon. That does not come without it's own problems.

I'll be candid, I am fighting one of the deepest depressions I have ever been in and having a hard time seeing anything but the inside of the dark cloud and that does not represent death, it represents something far worse to me, life wishing for death. I am hoping getting this ERCP today out of the way will help but then I know I will go on "eyes and skin watch" because I know what follows when that starts to turn yellow. And my depression is manifesting itself in anger as it has the tendency to do.

My friends, I hate to complain because I should be thankful that this was discovered in time and I do not have to have that conversation with family and friends but that's not how my brain works, I wish it did. I have to let this run it's course and purge a little of that here, the only place I really can. My older son is the only one that knows anything and only because he has to be my driver for all of this.

As usual, I thank you for allowing me to purge here and the fact that you are thinking of me and care about me provides me with great comfort. I am just wallowing in a healthy dose of self pity and playing one of my "why me, O lord" cards. I don't know why I do that, always get the same response, "why not you"?

I am just waiting. Not really sure what I am waiting for but I do try to shake this everything has just gone wrong from the first day of the symptoms showing up because that shades my expectations for what I am waiting for. The doctors have all been positive.....and wrong every time so far so I have no reason to think the news I will be getting on the 9th will be any different. And I have that pathology board's disagreement on what this is and what stage it is in to feed my penchant for filling in the unknown.

Well, at least I get the fun of waking up this afternoon and finding out what parts of my body they shaved this time. Damnedest thing I've seen, it's like the nurses are all part of some weird Amish hair quilting cult. I am becoming "Patchwork Man". One more procedure like this and I will be "Hairless Chihuahua Man". I would use one of those hairless cat comparisons but they scare the bejeezus out of me. However, I might be a hot commodity for the Septuagenarian Sisters of Sex club here.

Sorry for going on so long but I am trying to deal my sense of dread away.

Coach, you’re entitled to all the venting you need here. DO NOT APOLOGIZE! We all do it because we know we’ve got our own “family” here and we’re pretty darn judgment free. Hell, I talk to you folks more thank my own bio family. It’s a special place (here) where you can let your defenses down and be real with people. Hang in there, Sir.

 

[Xelda]

He's fine. If he died, he'd tell us.

Thanks, Runny. I'm all kinds of reliefed. I don't know why I spell things the way I do sometimes, but it seemed right to me.

Would you have played the Wedding March at your cousin's wedding in the Catholic church, though?

Oh Leon! I don't think I've told them about that one. There was entirely too much going on for an arm pit serenade. Maybe a quick interlude when my drunk aunt burst in through a side door would have been good.

 

[Xelda]

Thank you for updating us, Doodles. This has not been just about you, but included all of us here. You are walking out the toughest part, but we're with you in spirit except when I ride with Runny through NY in spirit.

When I was first diagnosed, all the medical hounds came at me. I couldn't just have one kind of cancer, NO! Let's find more!!! As I awaited word from other tests, my big nerves ate my small nerves. When I got the results that I'd tested negative for the other cancers, I treated myself to a gorgeous ring at the jewelry store. I shattered the glass ceiling that day and never regretted it. Well, no big regrets. The small ones would dissipate after watching the diamonds dance around the glowing rubies. Sorry, my brain just took a trip to the jewelry store and isn't cooperating any more.

 

[Cowboys_22]

Morning Pops and all y'all. The roller coaster ride continues.

My son is picking me up for the trek to Lakeway, again but hopefully for the last time, to have this stent removed and I am nervous as hell about it. I've been told that's allowing the bile duct to drain and if that starts building Bilirubin back up in my body, I don't think I can handle that again. When they pushed this up, they thought I would be getting this next operation sooner but that can't happen before September 9 now because the robotics room in Austin isn't available until then. C3PO is but not the machine.

They are also doing a Spyglass procedure for the Oncology Surgeon to better decide how to cut me open. There is a possibility that he will have to do a much larger incision and make the hospital stay longer as well as recovery time. With how everything about this has gone so far, I am expecting the worst case scenario. He is also taking biopsies from the neighboring organs, not at the messy stage at this time.

I spoke with the Oncology Surgeon on Monday and I really like this guy a lot and he has a cool name and a great laugh. His name is Declan Fleming and I dubbed him Declan, 008, Brother of Ian. I could not believe the man has lived with that name for that long and no one ever did that before. Then again, only an idiot would risk pissing off a man about to slice him open and go poking around his innards.

Add another Doc to the list of maligning my absent gall bladder. I had no idea the word "messy" had become a clinician's technical jargon, what's next "icky'? Or gross? "Ewwwwww, your gall bladder was all icky and gross and I didn't want to touch it so I left it in".

The good news in all of this is that he agrees with the pathology board that this messy gall bladder did save my life and there is no doubt in his mind that this was headed to be the exact same cancer that took my wife. He said he's never even heard of a cancer this rare infecting non blood relatives.

Along with the biopsies and because this is taking place at UT, they will be getting on the spot pathology reports on everything and he's already prepared me that he may have to remove the entire bile duct and move the intestines up and he has performed this many times, which is why I was referred to a specialty surgeon. That does not come without it's own problems.

I'll be candid, I am fighting one of the deepest depressions I have ever been in and having a hard time seeing anything but the inside of the dark cloud and that does not represent death, it represents something far worse to me, life wishing for death. I am hoping getting this ERCP today out of the way will help but then I know I will go on "eyes and skin watch" because I know what follows when that starts to turn yellow. And my depression is manifesting itself in anger as it has the tendency to do.

My friends, I hate to complain because I should be thankful that this was discovered in time and I do not have to have that conversation with family and friends but that's not how my brain works, I wish it did. I have to let this run it's course and purge a little of that here, the only place I really can. My older son is the only one that knows anything and only because he has to be my driver for all of this.

As usual, I thank you for allowing me to purge here and the fact that you are thinking of me and care about me provides me with great comfort. I am just wallowing in a healthy dose of self pity and playing one of my "why me, O lord" cards. I don't know why I do that, always get the same response, "why not you"?

I am just waiting. Not really sure what I am waiting for but I do try to shake this everything has just gone wrong from the first day of the symptoms showing up because that shades my expectations for what I am waiting for. The doctors have all been positive.....and wrong every time so far so I have no reason to think the news I will be getting on the 9th will be any different. And I have that pathology board's disagreement on what this is and what stage it is in to feed my penchant for filling in the unknown.

Well, at least I get the fun of waking up this afternoon and finding out what parts of my body they shaved this time. Damnedest thing I've seen, it's like the nurses are all part of some weird Amish hair quilting cult. I am becoming "Patchwork Man". One more procedure like this and I will be "Hairless Chihuahua Man". I would use one of those hairless cat comparisons but they scare the bejeezus out of me. However, I might be a hot commodity for the Septuagenarian Sisters of Sex club here.

Sorry for going on so long but I am trying to deal my sense of dread away.

Good morning Pops and friends. Sorry to hear you’re going through all that CC. Just trust the Drs as they do what they do, unless you happen to walk in on one and he’s u-tubing the surgery he’s about to do on you. Snap out of it, you have to get well and keep your stories going.

Wife and I went up to the hill country a couple months ago. Our last stop was Saltlick BBQ in Driftwood. That was some good bbq.

We’re in Washington state now visiting her sister. Now this is real hill country wow! We visited Mt Rainier yesterday. My sister in law’s kids have spoiled me. We are treated like royalty. They take us everywhere and then some. We’re going back to the Texas heat this weekend.

 

[Montanalo]

Morning Pops and all y'all. The roller coaster ride continues.

My son is picking me up for the trek to Lakeway, again but hopefully for the last time, to have this stent removed and I am nervous as hell about it. I've been told that's allowing the bile duct to drain and if that starts building Bilirubin back up in my body, I don't think I can handle that again. When they pushed this up, they thought I would be getting this next operation sooner but that can't happen before September 9 now because the robotics room in Austin isn't available until then. C3PO is but not the machine.

They are also doing a Spyglass procedure for the Oncology Surgeon to better decide how to cut me open. There is a possibility that he will have to do a much larger incision and make the hospital stay longer as well as recovery time. With how everything about this has gone so far, I am expecting the worst case scenario. He is also taking biopsies from the neighboring organs, not at the messy stage at this time.

I spoke with the Oncology Surgeon on Monday and I really like this guy a lot and he has a cool name and a great laugh. His name is Declan Fleming and I dubbed him Declan, 008, Brother of Ian. I could not believe the man has lived with that name for that long and no one ever did that before. Then again, only an idiot would risk pissing off a man about to slice him open and go poking around his innards.

Add another Doc to the list of maligning my absent gall bladder. I had no idea the word "messy" had become a clinician's technical jargon, what's next "icky'? Or gross? "Ewwwwww, your gall bladder was all icky and gross and I didn't want to touch it so I left it in".

The good news in all of this is that he agrees with the pathology board that this messy gall bladder did save my life and there is no doubt in his mind that this was headed to be the exact same cancer that took my wife. He said he's never even heard of a cancer this rare infecting non blood relatives.

Along with the biopsies and because this is taking place at UT, they will be getting on the spot pathology reports on everything and he's already prepared me that he may have to remove the entire bile duct and move the intestines up and he has performed this many times, which is why I was referred to a specialty surgeon. That does not come without it's own problems.

I'll be candid, I am fighting one of the deepest depressions I have ever been in and having a hard time seeing anything but the inside of the dark cloud and that does not represent death, it represents something far worse to me, life wishing for death. I am hoping getting this ERCP today out of the way will help but then I know I will go on "eyes and skin watch" because I know what follows when that starts to turn yellow. And my depression is manifesting itself in anger as it has the tendency to do.

My friends, I hate to complain because I should be thankful that this was discovered in time and I do not have to have that conversation with family and friends but that's not how my brain works, I wish it did. I have to let this run it's course and purge a little of that here, the only place I really can. My older son is the only one that knows anything and only because he has to be my driver for all of this.

As usual, I thank you for allowing me to purge here and the fact that you are thinking of me and care about me provides me with great comfort. I am just wallowing in a healthy dose of self pity and playing one of my "why me, O lord" cards. I don't know why I do that, always get the same response, "why not you"?

I am just waiting. Not really sure what I am waiting for but I do try to shake this everything has just gone wrong from the first day of the symptoms showing up because that shades my expectations for what I am waiting for. The doctors have all been positive.....and wrong every time so far so I have no reason to think the news I will be getting on the 9th will be any different. And I have that pathology board's disagreement on what this is and what stage it is in to feed my penchant for filling in the unknown.

Well, at least I get the fun of waking up this afternoon and finding out what parts of my body they shaved this time. Damnedest thing I've seen, it's like the nurses are all part of some weird Amish hair quilting cult. I am becoming "Patchwork Man". One more procedure like this and I will be "Hairless Chihuahua Man". I would use one of those hairless cat comparisons but they scare the bejeezus out of me. However, I might be a hot commodity for the Septuagenarian Sisters of Sex club here.

Sorry for going on so long but I am trying to deal my sense of dread away.

For what it's worth, Coach, I appreciated your sharing, not only how things are going but how you feel as well.

Know that we are all here for you and praying for a speedy and full recovery.

 

[Runwildboys]

@CouchCoach ....CC.....My friend, don't think for a second you have to apologize or thank us for "allowing" you to vent here.....It's Reality you should be thanking for that. Hmm, that brings to mind a theory. A theory of how this all started right around the time he bestowed modhood (modness?...modity?...modnition?) upon you. Everyone, get your pitchforks, shovels, and torches!

Hopefully you're in the process of getting extremely good news right this moment. We want to hear from you ASAP...or more appropriately, STAT...regardless of what the docs have to say.

 

[kskboys]

Thanks, Runny. I'm all kinds of reliefed. I don't know why I spell things the way I do sometimes, but it seemed right to me.

Oh Leon! I don't think I've told them about that one. There was entirely too much going on for an arm pit serenade. Maybe a quick interlude when my drunk aunt burst in through a side door would have been good.

We know that you ARE the drunk aunt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[LeonDixson]

Morning, Pops and peeps. TGIF. I hope you all beat the heat and enjoy the day.

 

[CouchCoach]

Morning Pops and all y'all.

Guess what I am in the possession of? Here's a hint, there are 31 of them. Oh, I probably gave it away in my whiny post yesterday. I have 31, count them, 31 photos of my bile duct. There, there, don't let your envy get the best of you and start demanding this from your health care providers just because I am the only one with these little gems.

The only problem I have is that my GI guy showed me these and explained them when I was coming out of the roughest anesthesia I've ever encountered and they had to use this apparatus in my mouth when they used the Spyglass that really hurt my lips and caused them to swell. I looked like Goldie Hawn in "First Wives Club" after she had Botox. I awakened to a nurse with the second most beautiful set of (you thought I was going naughty on that, didn't you? I know better. Just in case I had died on the table and just in case I made it to heaven, I wasn't going to have my first angel say "my eyes are up here") eyes, next to my wife's, bathing my lips in gel. She was apologizing because she'd overheard my discussion with the gas passer about how they wrecked the inside of my mouth the first time. Well, they decided to do the outside this time. I must say I am rather pouty lipped and if I was another man, a gay man, I could go for me in a big way. Just adds to my overall "cuteness".

I hate being right. At least about this ever since it began. What I did get from this is that the bile duct does not look good and that raises the question about the surrounding organs again and he did take biopsies but the results won't be back until next week. I have been elevated from "rare" to a "mystery" now, at least by the GI guy. He told me from the MRI, this looked like a simple stones in the duct and ball bladder, although stones are rare in the bile duct, to something he and the surgeon have never seen before. On the plus side of that, that is the reason I have Dr. Declan Fleming, 008, doing this surgery and I found out yesterday, he's like a living legend in his field. I thought it was something that he heads up UT's Cancer department but my docs and nurses told me they were lucky to have him.

They really impressed on me how fortunate I was to have the best doing this. And at the same time, I read what they weren't saying and my GI guy spent a little too much time with me and my surgeon even stopped by to say hello, that's not normal. The GI guy is the one that asked me "how honest do you want me to be"? I had the feeling he wasn't being completely honest with me but then he also didn't have the pathology results.

I also learned that this is a far more complicated surgery, and now made more so with these pics, than I had initially thought. I was thinking it would be like the gall bladder removal but it's not in the same league but the best thing is I have this guy doing it and he decided that I would be one of his patients and he doesn't have a lot of patients with his duties at UT and Dell. I am a little disappointed it isn't because I am charming but a mystery but I will take it.

I still do not feel good about what they will find when they open me up again, I am conditioned to that by now, but I do feel good about this surgeon and am lucky to have him. But they can do so much and I have had a bad feeling about this as it has gone on. I don't know if that's my natural pessimistic proclivity returning, because I thought I had beaten that back, or just the way this ride has gone so far.

Appreciate the kind words and permission to be me, something I am sure you will learn to regret, and to have a place to put this down because that is necessary to my psyche. When you filter through the emotional input, a trait passed on from my Mom, you either learn how to deal with that or it will drive you mad. This is also bringing back some memories that I had suppressed when they were trying to diagnose my wife's condition and connected to that.....other memories that I had hoped I had buried forever.

But, on the bright side, I can return to my decadent and self-destructive cigar smoking and cocktailing today and somehow, sticking a stogie between these Goldie Hawn lips seems like the right thing to do. I will also do Charles Laughton impressions better with full lips. Actually, they're voluptuous lips, if I do say so myself.

 

[Montanalo]

Morning Pops and all y'all.

Guess what I am in the possession of? Here's a hint, there are 31 of them. Oh, I probably gave it away in my whiny post yesterday. I have 31, count them, 31 photos of my bile duct. There, there, don't let your envy get the best of you and start demanding this from your health care providers just because I am the only one with these little gems.

The only problem I have is that my GI guy showed me these and explained them when I was coming out of the roughest anesthesia I've ever encountered and they had to use this apparatus in my mouth when they used the Spyglass that really hurt my lips and caused them to swell. I looked like Goldie Hawn in "First Wives Club" after she had Botox. I awakened to a nurse with the second most beautiful set of (you thought I was going naughty on that, didn't you? I know better. Just in case I had died on the table and just in case I made it to heaven, I wasn't going to have my first angel say "my eyes are up here") eyes, next to my wife's, bathing my lips in gel. She was apologizing because she'd overheard my discussion with the gas passer about how they wrecked the inside of my mouth the first time. Well, they decided to do the outside this time. I must say I am rather pouty lipped and if I was another man, a gay man, I could go for me in a big way. Just adds to my overall "cuteness".

I hate being right. At least about this ever since it began. What I did get from this is that the bile duct does not look good and that raises the question about the surrounding organs again and he did take biopsies but the results won't be back until next week. I have been elevated from "rare" to a "mystery" now, at least by the GI guy. He told me from the MRI, this looked like a simple stones in the duct and ball bladder, although stones are rare in the bile duct, to something he and the surgeon have never seen before. On the plus side of that, that is the reason I have Dr. Declan Fleming, 008, doing this surgery and I found out yesterday, he's like a living legend in his field. I thought it was something that he heads up UT's Cancer department but my docs and nurses told me they were lucky to have him.

They really impressed on me how fortunate I was to have the best doing this. And at the same time, I read what they weren't saying and my GI guy spent a little too much time with me and my surgeon even stopped by to say hello, that's not normal. The GI guy is the one that asked me "how honest do you want me to be"? I had the feeling he wasn't being completely honest with me but then he also didn't have the pathology results.

I also learned that this is a far more complicated surgery, and now made more so with these pics, than I had initially thought. I was thinking it would be like the gall bladder removal but it's not in the same league but the best thing is I have this guy doing it and he decided that I would be one of his patients and he doesn't have a lot of patients with his duties at UT and Dell. I am a little disappointed it isn't because I am charming but a mystery but I will take it.

I still do not feel good about what they will find when they open me up again, I am conditioned to that by now, but I do feel good about this surgeon and am lucky to have him. But they can do so much and I have had a bad feeling about this as it has gone on. I don't know if that's my natural pessimistic proclivity returning, because I thought I had beaten that back, or just the way this ride has gone so far.

Appreciate the kind words and permission to be me, something I am sure you will learn to regret, and to have a place to put this down because that is necessary to my psyche. When you filter through the emotional input, a trait passed on from my Mom, you either learn how to deal with that or it will drive you mad. This is also bringing back some memories that I had suppressed when they were trying to diagnose my wife's condition and connected to that.....other memories that I had hoped I had buried forever.

But, on the bright side, I can return to my decadent and self-destructive cigar smoking and cocktailing today and somehow, sticking a stogie between these Goldie Hawn lips seems like the right thing to do. I will also do Charles Laughton impressions better with full lips. Actually, they're voluptuous lips, if I do say so myself.

Actually, they're voluptuous lips, if I do say so myself.

Still on pain medication? Sorry, seems like you're doing well, so I thought you would appreciate a sarcastic comment... you know, to make you feel right at home

 

[CouchCoach]

Actually, they're voluptuous lips, if I do say so myself.

Still on pain medication? Sorry, seems like you're doing, so I thought you would appreciate a sarcastic comment... you know, to make you feel right at home

No pain medications, this is all natural, which should worry the authorities. Good thing I am a recluse.

I do appreciate the humor and sarcasm but Colo, if you saw these lips, you might leave the Mrs. for them. They make me want to talk dirty to myself in the mirror. However, just getting up the morning makes me want to do that but these lips, oh my, these lips.

 

[Runwildboys]

Morning Pops and all y'all.

Guess what I am in the possession of? Here's a hint, there are 31 of them. Oh, I probably gave it away in my whiny post yesterday. I have 31, count them, 31 photos of my bile duct. There, there, don't let your envy get the best of you and start demanding this from your health care providers just because I am the only one with these little gems.

The only problem I have is that my GI guy showed me these and explained them when I was coming out of the roughest anesthesia I've ever encountered and they had to use this apparatus in my mouth when they used the Spyglass that really hurt my lips and caused them to swell. I looked like Goldie Hawn in "First Wives Club" after she had Botox. I awakened to a nurse with the second most beautiful set of (you thought I was going naughty on that, didn't you? I know better. Just in case I had died on the table and just in case I made it to heaven, I wasn't going to have my first angel say "my eyes are up here") eyes, next to my wife's, bathing my lips in gel. She was apologizing because she'd overheard my discussion with the gas passer about how they wrecked the inside of my mouth the first time. Well, they decided to do the outside this time. I must say I am rather pouty lipped and if I was another man, a gay man, I could go for me in a big way. Just adds to my overall "cuteness".

I hate being right. At least about this ever since it began. What I did get from this is that the bile duct does not look good and that raises the question about the surrounding organs again and he did take biopsies but the results won't be back until next week. I have been elevated from "rare" to a "mystery" now, at least by the GI guy. He told me from the MRI, this looked like a simple stones in the duct and ball bladder, although stones are rare in the bile duct, to something he and the surgeon have never seen before. On the plus side of that, that is the reason I have Dr. Declan Fleming, 008, doing this surgery and I found out yesterday, he's like a living legend in his field. I thought it was something that he heads up UT's Cancer department but my docs and nurses told me they were lucky to have him.

They really impressed on me how fortunate I was to have the best doing this. And at the same time, I read what they weren't saying and my GI guy spent a little too much time with me and my surgeon even stopped by to say hello, that's not normal. The GI guy is the one that asked me "how honest do you want me to be"? I had the feeling he wasn't being completely honest with me but then he also didn't have the pathology results.

I also learned that this is a far more complicated surgery, and now made more so with these pics, than I had initially thought. I was thinking it would be like the gall bladder removal but it's not in the same league but the best thing is I have this guy doing it and he decided that I would be one of his patients and he doesn't have a lot of patients with his duties at UT and Dell. I am a little disappointed it isn't because I am charming but a mystery but I will take it.

I still do not feel good about what they will find when they open me up again, I am conditioned to that by now, but I do feel good about this surgeon and am lucky to have him. But they can do so much and I have had a bad feeling about this as it has gone on. I don't know if that's my natural pessimistic proclivity returning, because I thought I had beaten that back, or just the way this ride has gone so far.

Appreciate the kind words and permission to be me, something I am sure you will learn to regret, and to have a place to put this down because that is necessary to my psyche. When you filter through the emotional input, a trait passed on from my Mom, you either learn how to deal with that or it will drive you mad. This is also bringing back some memories that I had suppressed when they were trying to diagnose my wife's condition and connected to that.....other memories that I had hoped I had buried forever.

But, on the bright side, I can return to my decadent and self-destructive cigar smoking and cocktailing today and somehow, sticking a stogie between these Goldie Hawn lips seems like the right thing to do. I will also do Charles Laughton impressions better with full lips. Actually, they're voluptuous lips, if I do say so myself.

I don't even know what to say to this, except that we all wish you the very best health possible at this point....and post pics of the lips...and the bile duct - preferably one superimposed over the other.

 

[CouchCoach]

I don't even know what to say to this, except that we all wish you the very best health possible at this point....and post pics of the lips...and the bile duct - preferably one superimposed over the other.

I'll see if I can locate the pic of the sphincter, that's my best side.

Runny, I post a pic of these lips and you'll give up Asian porn.

 

[Runwildboys]

I'll see if I can locate the pic of the sphincter, that's my best side.

Runny, I post a pic of these lips and you'll give up Asian porn.

I'm having visions of naked women riding bikes.

 

[GrammaJan]

Morning Pops and everyone.

Beautiful morning… 59° when I got out the door to get my jog in at 5am. That and two walks with the neighbor and her dogs and I'm at almost eight miles on the day and over 17,000 steps! I already feel accomplished and still have lots to do today (mowing and general domestic stuff around the house).

I have arranged to take about a week later in September to go to Wisconsin for a (free) stay at my boss's cabin on a lake. So excited to finally be able to get away and have it be just me and "someone" )) and spend some time together. I have something to look forward to as I start to count down the weeks and then days. Last time I was there was the year before my diagnosis. I am excited to get back there after so much "awful" has happened in between. Fingers crossed our calendars don't change and that we can stick to the plan.

My wish for you all today, this weekend and for the foreseeable future is that you all realize some 'happy' along the way and are able to live in those moments that really grab your hearts. Have a wonderful weekend, be safe, be well, and focus on the goal. Positive thoughts, all...

 

[Runwildboys]

Morning Pops and everyone.

Beautiful morning… 59° when I got out the door to get my jog in at 5am. That and two walks with the neighbor and her dogs and I'm at almost eight miles on the day and over 17,000 steps! I already feel accomplished and still have lots to do today (mowing and general domestic stuff around the house).

I have arranged to take about a week later in September to go to Wisconsin for a (free) stay at my boss's cabin on a lake. So excited to finally be able to get away and have it be just me and "someone" )) and spend some time together. I have something to look forward to as I start to count down the weeks and then days. Last time I was there was the year before my diagnosis. I am excited to get back there after so much "awful" has happened in between. Fingers crossed our calendars don't change and that we can stick to the plan.

My wish for you all today, this weekend and for the foreseeable future is that you all realize some 'happy' along the way and are able to live in those moments that really grab your hearts. Have a wonderful weekend, be safe, be well, and focus on the goal. Positive thoughts, all...

Well Jan, I hope you have a good time with "someone"...and yes, meant for that to sound dirty.

 

[GrammaJan]

Well Jan, I hope you have a good time with "someone"...and yes, meant for that to sound dirty.

Ohhh… I will

 

[LeonDixson]

Morning, Pops and peeps. We had a pretty good thunder storm yesterday but it the rain didn't last too long. The thunder started a good thirty or forty minutes before the rain and was pretty much constant.

 

[CouchCoach]

Morning Pops and I just had the most unusual thing just happen. My GI doc called me on a Sunday morning with the biopsy results from the procedure on Thursday and when I saw that number coming in, no way did I think that was going to be good news and even told him that at the end of the call. He told me he was happy to make this a better Sunday as he had been concerned about what he saw.

I was still a little fuzzy coming out of the anesthesia when he showed me the pics and his concern was apparent creating that conversation about me being a mystery, which continues according to him and the other docs. But this mystery does have a silver lining. No cancer in the biopsies. The pathologist told him with the amount of dysplasia in that area, how he doesn't have cancer and quite a bit of it is remarkable. They've never seen this before.

The downside is that the more involved surgery, the removal of the bile duct, now with a new stent in it I found out, will have to be done. The bile duct is shot to hell. This will be the most major surgery I have ever been through but I am relieved that I do not have to have that conversation with my sons and that it is not that cancer which it would have been had this turned and it was turning, just a matter of time.

I don't know if this changes the schedule of the surgery since it will be the more involved and don't know if that involves robotics and 008 is on vacation next week so I don't think I'll hear from him but I never thought I would hear from any doc on a Sunday. I've been very lucky to have had these docs, especially having Declan Fleming, 008, doing this surgery.

Now, I get to do the antsy dance. 008 assured me that we had time on this but you know what keeps coming back to me? The words "rare" and "mystery". Everything they know is based on what they know and I've been hearing this "rare" thing so much from all of them, I want this damned thing out of me sooner than later. "Rare" is good applied to steak, tuna, coins and stamps but to an organ inside you, nope, not good.

Earlier, I was having a self pity party, table for one, and now, even though the surgery is more involved, I consider myself a very lucky man. I have some great docs, and one that cares enough to call on a Sunday and that is special indeed, and the other that because he is friends with 008, I get him for this surgery. My GI guy told me if he had to have this surgery, he would wait for Dr. Fleming, if he had to, over having any other surgeon do it. He said "you are really lucky that he's taken you on as a patient".

So, my friends, I am going to stop obsessing about this and boring you with my tales of woe and "all my ailments", man, I detest that and return to boring you with my regular nonsense.

But again, thanks for the support, you have no idea how important this was to me basically go through this alone except for my older son.