I do sweat with my heart racing and bedding almost off the bed. Three nights ago, the nightmare was so bad that I swore off sleeping. I woke up around 1:30 and refused to go back to bed. The last two nights I've prayed for protection over my mind and had solid sleep. I plan to continue praying, so I guess I'll have to exercise during the day.
X girl, your dreams could be an amusement park.
I have been experiencing dreaming unlike any I've ever had. I don't know if I have shared this before but ever since my gall bladder decided to get stoned and go south, I have to get up to pee between 5-6 times every night and they don't know why and don't seemed inclined to try and do anything about it. Like my shoulder and hernia, it's down the priority list. It's not the prostate, that was ruled out early on.
The weird part is I will awaken from a dream, and most of mine are just like conversational dreams not crazy or scary, and then I go back and continue the dream. I have gone as far as three episodes of a dream. I usually sleep between one and two hours at a time and I take a couple of naps during the day with no dreams. I can remember having great dreams and wishing I could get back to it but could not. I don't even have to try now, it's like my dream goes on pause for the cause.
I find it interesting that my dreams are so ordinary considering the life I am living waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am spending my life keeping me alive. That's nuts when you consider when I was diagnosed I was OK and could take life or leave it. But that's when it was my idea.
Several weeks ago at the Monkey's Paw store another client asked me "what do you do for a living"? I smiled at her and said "this. Staying alive is my living." This led to a discussion and I made a new friend, Vivian, even though I shared my thoughts with her. Usually I share my thoughts as human repellent. I think they think 'damn, if he'll say this to a stranger, what would he say if I got to know him better'?
I used to use an expression when strange things happened and it was my all encompassing explanation for why we are all here, "ain't life weird"? How can anyone respond other than "yep, it is" to that? Most people who know me would not respond "how so"? But over the last 9 months, I have discovered how truly weird it can be. Might be why I am still hanging around 3 months past my expiration date, I want to see how much weirder it can get. Because it can always get weirder.
