Opposite Sex Friends

[Teren_Kanan]

I think you mean, "particularly."

Lol. My lesbo friend really isn't super attractive. But she doesn't sleep with men and has never been with a man. We talk about chicks all the time. Something about that just makes me want to rule her world.

She says man parts look like a disgusting toe. Lol

 

[Faerluna]

I'd bet good money that no one in this thread (1) has been single at the same time as a "friend" of the opposite sex, (2) hung out with that person for extended periods of time just by yourselves, and (3) not had one or the other want it to be more than just friends. If you weren't the one wanting it to be more, the other person was. Guaranteed.

*raises hand*

I had a good guy friend that I worked with and we hung out a few times a week, went out to the bars together, had lunch or dinner together, etc. There was never one iota of sexual or romantic interest for either one of us, guaranteed. Yes, he was straight. I just wasn't his type, nor was he mine.

 

[theogt]

*raises hand*

I had a good guy friend that I worked with and we hung out a few times a week, went out to the bars together, had lunch or dinner together, etc. There was never one iota of sexual or romantic interest for either one of us, guaranteed. Yes, he was straight. I just wasn't his type, nor was he mine.

One of two things is happening here: (1) you're lying, or (2) it was him.

Edit: Just realized this was a work relationship. That's not a real friendship. You say you "had" a good friend. I assume he stopped being your good friend shortly after you stopped working with him.

 

[casmith07]

*raises hand*

I had a good guy friend that I worked with and we hung out a few times a week, went out to the bars together, had lunch or dinner together, etc. There was never one iota of sexual or romantic interest for either one of us, guaranteed. Yes, he was straight. I just wasn't his type, nor was he mine.

Listen to Steve Harvey in the video I posted in the OP.

Your friend was either gay, or you're misled.

edit: I just read theo's post and I concur.

 

[bbgun]

*raises hand*

I had a good guy friend that I worked with and we hung out a few times a week, went out to the bars together, had lunch or dinner together, etc. There was never one iota of sexual or romantic interest for either one of us, guaranteed. Yes, he was straight. I just wasn't his type, nor was he mine.

Did his name rhyme with Dob Tacamano?

 

[rkell87]

I'd bet good money that no one in this thread (1) has been single at the same time as a "friend" of the opposite sex, (2) hung out with that person for extended periods of time just by yourselves, and (3) not had one or the other want it to be more than just friends. If you weren't the one wanting it to be more, the other person was. Guaranteed.

When I got married, all of my female friendships pretty much ended. The reality was, they weren't really friendships to begin with.

what does this have to do with actually being friends with the opposite sex while in a relationship?


ill just say that with real trust and love it is possible. ive been with my GF for 5 years, lived with her for 4. we have found it easier with other couples but both of us have single friends of the opposite sex, one even lived with us and she trusted us alone because we are good people and are only friends with good people who share the same values as us, that includes being faithful so it comes easy with us and our friends

 

[Faerluna]

One of two things is happening here: (1) you're lying, or (2) it was him.

Edit: Just realized this was a work relationship. That's not a real friendship. You say you "had" a good friend. I assume he stopped being your good friend shortly after you stopped working with him.

We no longer worked together but continued to hang out frequently until I got a day job and our hours were different. We have since lost touch.

You can think whatever you want, and I know how typical male-female interaction is, but he was never interested in me and I have no reason to lie.

I don't give a rat's butt what Steve Harvey or anyone else says. There are exceptions to every all-encompassing statement, and this is one of them.

 

[theogt]

what does this have to do with actually being friends with the opposite sex while in a relationship?


ill just say that with real trust and love it is possible. ive been with my GF for 5 years, lived with her for 4. we have found it easier with other couples but both of us have single friends of the opposite sex, one even lived with us and she trusted us alone because we are good people and are only friends with good people who share the same values as us, that includes being faithful so it comes easy with us and our friends

Well, I didn't mean to say you couldn't ignore it.

 

[casmith07]

We no longer worked together but continued to hang out frequently until I got a day job and our hours were different. We have since lost touch.

You can think whatever you want, and I know how typical male-female interaction is, but he was never interested in me and I have no reason to lie.

I don't give a rat's butt what Steve Harvey or anyone else says. There are exceptions to every all-encompassing statement, and this is one of them.

Believe what you want. Given the opportunity, I can guarantee he would've tried to make a move. We're men. We're wired that way.

 

[Faerluna]

Believe what you want. Given the opportunity, I can guarantee he would've tried to make a move. We're men. We're wired that way.

Maybe you guys are, but not this guy.

I knew him, you didn't, and I think that we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[theogt]

Maybe you guys are, but not this guy.

I knew him, you didn't, and I think that we'll have to agree to disagree.

You've actually never known how any guy thinks, because you're not one.

 

[MetalHead]

You've actually never known how any guy thinks, because you're not one.

Exactly.

 

[bbgun]

You've actually never known how any guy thinks, because you're not one.

Pretty sure she suspects we want sex.

 

[Kangaroo]

Believe what you want. Given the opportunity, I can guarantee he would've tried to make a move. We're men. We're wired that way.

Most maybe but please do not put us all in the same boat

 

[Faerluna]

Most maybe but please do not put us all in the same boat

Thank you!

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Most maybe but please do not put us all in the same boat

So Roo, if you know and accept (I'm guessing that this is your position) that the odds are it won't work out, why take a chance? It would seem that if the odds are not in favor of avoiding bad situations, you would elect to forgo this sort of circumstance.

 

[Faerluna]

So Roo, if you know and accept (I'm guessing that this is your position) that the odds are it won't work out, why take a chance? It would seem that if the odds are not in favor of avoiding bad situations, you would elect to forgo this sort of circumstance.

Or what if you are just not attracted to the person? Do you guys that say you think that way just bed anything with a heartbeat that says yes?

 

[ABQCOWBOY]

Or what if you are just not attracted to the person? Do you guys that say you think that way just bed anything with a heartbeat that says yes?

No. I can only speak for myself but I think that a better discription of what you describe would be avoidance of that situation entirely. I don't fool myself about these kinds of situations. I know that the possability of making a mistake is always there, and let me just say that it's not just "guys" that pursue these kinds of situations. I know a couple of things. I know that I am lucky to have a person in my life that loves me. I know that I have everything to lose if I am not vigilant about these kinds of things. I know that even the thought of something going on between me and another women would hurt my wife to the quick. I want no part of that so I don't kid myself about it. I know that all the best intentions could still go down the tubes if I allow myself to be in that position. I don't need it in my life. I hope this makes it a bit more clear.

 

[rkell87]

No. I can only speak for myself but I think that a better discription of what you describe would be avoidance of that situation entirely. I don't fool myself about these kinds of situations. I know that the possability of making a mistake is always there, and let me just say that it's not just "guys" that pursue these kinds of situations. I know a couple of things. I know that I am lucky to have a person in my life that loves me. I know that I have everything to lose if I am not vigilant about these kinds of things. I know that even the thought of something going on between me and another women would hurt my wife to the quick. I want no part of that so I don't kid myself about it. I know that all the best intentions could still go down the tubes if I allow myself to be in that position. I don't need it in my life. I hope this makes it a bit more clear.

i commend you for knowing yourself well enough to know that you may not be strong enough to resist temptation if immediately present, and commend knowing your wife well enough to know how she would feel under certain circumstances, but your situation does not represent everybody. i will say your relationship sounds typical and anybody would do well to take your stance but that does not mean that people can not/should not have opposite sex friends.

i will say the more opposite sex friends you have the higher the probability is that one of them aren't completely on the same page as you and your other friends

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

you could always hang with one to test yourself like Gandhi did when he slept with nude virgins to ensure he had self control.