So, my wife sends me a text...

[theogt]

One gives people nightmares, the other does nothing except to stuck up whiners who think they're better than others. Not even close to the same thing.

It doesn't surprise me that you in particular would have a problem with someone suggesting it's inappropriate to wear a baseball cap at a nice restaurant. You may also consider eating with forks and knives, as well as not going bare feet.

 

[theogt]

Its an extra piece of attire. I can chose to be offended by a tie or a watch if I want, it doesnt make it right.

Like most things in life, you can do as you please. You can say what you like and dress how you like as long as it breaks no laws. However, people in turn have the right to call you out on your behavior and make fun of you, as well.

 

[Venger]

I've really bitten my tongue not to respond in this thread... but manners and etiquette are about mutual and self respect. Acting dignified with self respect is a gift a man gives himself, that others cannot take. If you -

stand for the pledge of allegiance
say please and thank you

et.al. you are involving yourself in the public system of etiquette. Wearing appropriate attire shows pride and respect to others in whose company you find yourself. If you can't be bothered to comport yourself with care and minimal effort, it speaks volumes to others about your character.

Going to church naked doesn't "hurt" anyone, and I hope that shows the ridiculous backwardness of that line of thinking... words like class, dignity, gentleman, etc. all indicate a familiarity with carrying oneself in public in a dignified manner. Walking into a nice restaurant with a ballcap and flip-flops shows those words are unfamiliar to the wearer...

 

[Idgit]

I've really bitten my tongue not to respond in this thread... but manners and etiquette are about mutual and self respect. Acting dignified with self respect is a gift a man gives himself, that others cannot take. If you -

stand for the pledge of allegiance
say please and thank you

et.al. you are involving yourself in the public system of etiquette. Wearing appropriate attire shows pride and respect to others in whose company you find yourself. If you can't be bothered to comport yourself with care and minimal effort, it speaks volumes to others about your character.

Going to church naked doesn't "hurt" anyone, and I hope that shows the ridiculous backwardness of that line of thinking... words like class, dignity, gentleman, etc. all indicate a familiarity with carrying oneself in public in a dignified manner. Walking into a nice restaurant with a ballcap and flip-flops shows those words are unfamiliar to the wearer...

Or, just maybe, they have a different definition of 'dignity' than you do. Maybe they live lives of respect and dignity and service--all while wearing a baseball cap.

How much character does it take to call someone a 'tool' for nothing other than what they're wearing? That characterization itself speaks more to me than a hat or lack thereof ever would.

 

[Venger]

Or, just maybe, they have a different definition of 'dignity' than you do. Maybe they live lives of respect and dignity and service--all while wearing a baseball cap.

We can rationalize all sorts of slovenly behavior if we make words fit our mood. Perhaps someone who doesn't shower just doesn't have the same definition of "clean" as I do. I'm sure there is a way to gild just about any aberrant behavior in the name of self-actualization.

How much character does it take to call someone a 'tool' for nothing other than what they're wearing?

How about clown shoes? Those cool? Maybe at a family funeral? See, we all have lines, we just disagree where those lines are. Everyone else managed to be dressed appropriately. Do everyone else the same courtesy.

That characterization itself speaks more to me than a hat or lack thereof ever would.

The civilized world has expectations and standards. Ignore them at your peril.

 

[Idgit]

We can rationalize all sorts of slovenly behavior if we make words fit our mood. Perhaps someone who doesn't shower just doesn't have the same definition of "clean" as I do. I'm sure there is a way to gild just about any aberrant behavior in the name of self-actualization.

We can also classify all sorts of normal behavior as slovenly, if we make arbitrary evaluations fit our mood. Green ties after September? Insulting. Not wearing hats in a restaurant? Just think of all that loose hair falling into my pasta! Such piggishnish shouldn't be tolerated!

Sanitation issues are an exception, here, but that's not the topic of the thread.

How about clown shoes? Those cool? Maybe at a family funeral? See, we all have lines, we just disagree where those lines are. Everyone else managed to be dressed appropriately. Do everyone else the same courtesy.

The civilized world has expectations and standards. Ignore them at your peril.

The problem is when you think you have any say in terms of what's appropriate for another person. It really is none of your business. At all. You don't have to like it, as long as you realize that your opinion has no bearing on what another person should or should not do.

Meet the 'civilized' world's expectations and arbitrary standards at the cost of your own judgment? This is the same argument behind burqas and public school dress uniforms. I'll wear my burqa where I please, thank you.

Honor arbitrary standards at your own peril. There's very little meaningful downside in ignoring them in an enlightened society.

 

[MarionBarberThe4th]

Like most things in life, you can do as you please. You can say what you like and dress how you like as long as it breaks no laws. However, people in turn have the right to call you out on your behavior and make fun of you, as well.

For some reason you think Im claiming I have the right to be rude, which I am not. Im saying what is rude about a hat? Theres no reason for it to bother you.

You guys keep taking things to extremes like wearing a thing to a funeral or wearing a who farted T-shirt to your wedding. Youre doing that b/c you know that is actually rude, and a hat is not.

 

[theogt]

For some reason you think Im claiming I have the right to be rude, which I am not. Im saying what is rude about a hat? Theres no reason for it to bother you.

You guys keep taking things to extremes like wearing a thing to a funeral or wearing a who farted T-shirt to your wedding. Youre doing that b/c you know that is actually rude, and a hat is not.

Why do you get to determine what is extreme and what isn't?

These are social norms. No one person decides. It's based on broadly accepted societal practices.

 

[theogt]

I'll wear my burqa where I please, thank you.

I'll comment on your ridiculous outfits as I please, thank you.

 

[gmoney112]

No one cares that Romo was wearing a hat at Applebee's.

 

[Idgit]

I'll comment on your ridiculous outfits as I please, thank you.

Fair enough. I promise I'll respect your right to express old-man opinions.

 

[MarionBarberThe4th]

Why do you get to determine what is extreme and what isn't?

These are social norms. No one person decides. It's based on broadly accepted societal practices.

Im not deciding anything, we all are seeing the same things. I see a hat and think 'hmm, hes a Bulls fan'. Conversely you see a hat and equate it to a strip show at my dads funeral.


If someone had a hat that was made to look like hair would that be ok? B/C thats all your missing under there.

 

[MonsterD]

For some reason you think Im claiming I have the right to be rude, which I am not. Im saying what is rude about a hat? Theres no reason for it to bother you.

You guys keep taking things to extremes like wearing a thing to a funeral or wearing a who farted T-shirt to your wedding. Youre doing that b/c you know that is actually rude, and a hat is not.

How is wearing a T-shirt to a wedding rude? You are choosing to say one thing then dismissing it the next sentence, either nothing is rude like wearing certain things or saying certain things or it IS and there are standards set by many people throughout time.

I am not saying things don't change but there is some kind of standard still, and a person wearing a casual item of clothing or casual clothes to a formal event or high class place such as a restaurant(very specific ones) are breaking some standards.

Be free wear shorts or whatever you want to an opera or concert with a symphony , do want you want, like Theo said people have the right to think less of you as well, goes with the territory.

 

[MonsterD]

No one cares that Romo was wearing a hat at Applebee's.

true..

 

[MarionBarberThe4th]

How is wearing a T-shirt to a wedding rude? You are choosing to say one thing then dismissing it the next sentence, either nothing is rude like wearing certain things or saying certain things or it IS and there are standards set by many people throughout time.

I am not saying things don't change but there is some kind of standard still, and a person wearing a casual item of clothing or casual clothes to a formal event or high class place such as a restaurant(very specific ones) are breaking some standards.

Be free wear shorts or whatever you want to an opera or concert with a symphony , do want you want, like Theo said people have the right to think less of you as well, goes with the territory.

You dont wear a who farted T-shirt to a wedding b/c it is inappropriate. It conjures up objectionable imagery on whats supposed to be the best day of a females life.

 

[bbgun]

No one cares that Romo was wearing a hat at Applebee's.

You're right. The fact that he was dining there was a much greater offense.

 

[gmoney112]

How is wearing a T-shirt to a wedding rude? You are choosing to say one thing then dismissing it the next sentence, either nothing is rude like wearing certain things or saying certain things or it IS and there are standards set by many people throughout time.

I am not saying things don't change but there is some kind of standard still, and a person wearing a casual item of clothing or casual clothes to a formal event or high class place such as a restaurant(very specific ones) are breaking some standards.

Be free wear shorts or whatever you want to an opera or concert with a symphony , do want you want, like Theo said people have the right to think less of you as well, goes with the territory.

I've seen billionaires walking around to formal events in sandals and t-shirts. "Standards" are for people who actually care about catering to others views to elevate their own self worth. There's a difference between morals and standards, and personally I could care less about whatever someone decides to wear. I come from a very successful family, and I refuse to say my last name because i'm sure some will recognize it if you're from Texas. If you're intelligent, have a moral system that collaborates with "good", then who really gives a **** about your attire?

 

[MonsterD]

I've seen billionaires walking around to formal events in sandals and t-shirts. "Standards" are for people who actually care about catering to others views to elevate their own self worth. There's a difference between morals and standards, and personally I could care less about whatever someone decides to wear. I come from a very successful family, and I refuse to say my last name because i'm sure some will recognize it if you're from Texas. If you're intelligent, have a moral system that collaborates with "good", then who really gives a **** about your attire?

Mores are something apart from ethics and just standards, something that has been instilled for long periods of time. Again, eventually change does take over, but people will have a standard they regard, always.

It is fine to be the one who wants to give a "who gives a f about you, it's always about me" attitude, good, that is great. People are going to react and that is that.

 

[theogt]

You're right. The fact that he was dining there was a much greater offense.

Wait -- this was Applebee's? A hat is more acceptable there.

 

[Hostile]

Wait -- this was Applebee's? A hat is more acceptable there.

No. He posted the place earlier.