Facebook Linked To One In Five Divorces in the United States

[Kangaroo]

This year I will have been married to the same woman for 20 years. Never lived with her before hand.

Marriage is about love. You learn to adjust to the other person if you love them. You don't have to live together to figure out if you love someone.

This is more of an excuse than anything else.

This married 16 almost 17. It takes hard work commitment and communication. Most people hide from the fights and keep quite dam let it out get it all out in the open. Then everyone can breathe easier

 

[DFWJC]

What was the date on the study you quoted?

Just a few:
Jan 2011
Nov 2010
Dec 2002
Jul 2002
Jul 2008
Jun 2005

I did see this quote, which has been proven to not be 100% true:

"1. Higher Divorce Rate
Perhaps the most compelling and widespread argument against living together before marriage is that several researchers say it increases the risk of breaking up. Virtually all studies of this topic have shown that the chance of divorce is significantly greater for married couples who lived together first. And in 1992, the National Survey of Families and Households found that, in 3,300 families, married couples who had lived together first were judged to be 46 percent more likely to get divorced."


It looks like someone was able to find at least one study (out of dozens or more) that says otherwise. If you look hard enough, I guess you can always get the answer you want.

 

[YosemiteSam]

Stats have always shown that is does though.
But it looks like at least one study says not as much as most previous studies had shown--which was a 50-80% higher divorce rate for those living together before getting married.

There are dozens of studies, so if you look hard enough you can find at least one that says there is only a slight uptick in divorce rate vs the really large numbers.

In the end, it always depends on the specific couples anyway.

I'm going to go with the fact that today more people live together before getting married than they did in the past.

 

[DFWJC]

I'm going to go with the fact that today more people live together before getting married than they did in the past.

That's a fact.

 

[CoCo]

I'm getting a bit of a kick out of those who have a problem with some of us recommending living together before marriage.

You're promoting the idea that living together helps couples determine their long-term compatability. But the studies on that issue apparently say that in fact it doesn't.

At that point you might want to rethink your recommendation. If you still want to recommend it you ought to find a rationale that holds water because this one apparently doesn't.

 

[Aikmaniac]

That's a fact.

That is an obvious fact.

 

[Vtwin]

You're promoting the idea that living together helps couples determine their long-term compatability. But the studies on that issue apparently say that in fact it doesn't.

At that point you might want to rethink your recommendation. If you still want to recommend it you ought to find a rationale that holds water because this one apparently doesn't.

So you think that if you put the same two people in two different situations as in

A: They date then get married.

and

B: They date, live together for two years then get married

these same two people would be more likely to divorce having gone through situation B?


That is ridiculous. If two people are going to remain committed it doesn't matter if they live together first or not. These stats might show that people who are more likely to get divorced are more likely to live together first but they don't even begin to suggest that living together first can lead to divorce. I would bet that every single divorced couple in any of those studies would have divorced whether or not they lived together first.

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

The people who are against living together are making out like those that do live together are not committed as much as people who don't live together first. That is false.

Living together will not necessarily predict long term compatibility but it doesn't hurt it either.

 

[DFWJC]

So you think that if you put the same two people in two different situations as in

A: They date then get married.

and

B: They date, live together for two years then get married

these same two people would be more likely to divorce having gone through situation B?


That is ridiculous. If two people are going to remain committed it doesn't matter if they live together first or not. These stats might show that people who are more likely to get divorced are more likely to live together first but they don't even begin to suggest that living together first can lead to divorce. I would bet that every single divorced couple in any of those studies would have divorced whether or not they lived together first.

Interesting scenario. Good question.
No way to measure or prove that, hwoever, because it's it's an either or thing.

One thing that is true (or at least according to almost all studies on the topic) is just what CoCo said: couples that live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate...period.

But you bring up a good point. Who's to say if the exact same couple would have a higher chance of divorcing if they lived togther first? Guess we'll never know that one.

My wife and I lived together before we were married (but after we were engaged) so I can't say one way or other from my experience.

 

[WV Cowboy]

I'm going to go with the fact that today more people live together before getting married than they did in the past.

That's a fact.

That is an obvious fact.

That is a shame.

Successful marriage is the thread that holds together a society, .. and we are letting it slip away.

 

[YosemiteSam]

You're promoting the idea that living together helps couples determine their long-term compatability. But the studies on that issue apparently say that in fact it doesn't.

At that point you might want to rethink your recommendation. If you still want to recommend it you ought to find a rationale that holds water because this one apparently doesn't.

As I pointed out, I think the studies are flawed for the simple fact that more people today live together first.

I think if you sit back and logically think about it, its obvious that seeing what life will be like first hand is the smartest thing you could do. Tell me, do you buy a car without test driving it or a pair of shoes without trying them on first?

I promote the whole shebang before marriage. Sex included. Before I make any major commitment, I make sure I know the facts. I don't walk into one ignorant.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Some people live together, happily ever after.

Some people live together, and then get married.

But what are the numbers on the people that live together, cohabitate, shack up, get the milk for free without buying the cow, ... and then split up?

 

[YosemiteSam]

Some people live together, happily ever after.

Some people live together, and then get married.

But what are the numbers on the people that live together, cohabitate, shack up, get the milk for free without buying the cow, ... and then split up?

Does it matter to you what other people do? If someone waants to only have one night stands that's find with me, that woman just wouldn't bee having one with me.

Another reason to know your somebody first.

To each their own.

 

[WV Cowboy]

Does it matter to you what other people do? If someone waants to only have one night stands that's find with me, that woman just wouldn't bee having one with me.

Have you ever had a one night stand?
If she did it with you, she had done it before.

My friend, you just compared selecting the love of your life, your soul mate, your wife, .. to test driving a car or trying on shoes.
We are never going to agree.

 

[TellerMorrow34]

Yeah and I'm sure at some point there will be a study on how drivng the wrong kind of vehicle is a rising cause for divorce.

Who cares? They really feel the need to study this kind of BS?

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

Some people live together, happily ever after.

Some people live together, and then get married.

But what are the numbers on the people that live together, cohabitate, shack up, get the milk for free without buying the cow, ... and then split up?

as opposed to those who marry and divorce?

and as for getting the milk for free, um you don't have to live together to get the milk for free. Maybe .1% of people who marry haven't have sex before marriage.

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

Have you ever had a one night stand?
If she did it with you, she had done it before.

My friend, you just compared selecting the love of your life, your soul mate, your wife, .. to test driving a car or trying on shoes.
We are never going to agree.

who hasn't?

 

[peplaw06]

is fault still a factor in maintenance, custody and division of assets in your jurisdiction?

Yep... less so in custody issues than the other two. But it's not common to see divorce on fault grounds.

 

[TellerMorrow34]

who hasn't?

I haven't.

If you can sleep with the woman the first night you meet them then you shouldn't want anything from that woman.

That's how I've always been about it anyway.

 

[CanadianCowboysFan]

Yep... less so in custody issues than the other two. But it's not common to see divorce on fault grounds.

damn, it's only a factor here if you can show it has an effect on the assets (such as gambling addiction), ability to parent etc